Everyone is versatile when it comes to the holidays . . . we all love to give and receive. Here are some clever gift ideas for those of you who aren’t sure what to get that special someone (or special numerous people) in your life. Sexy holidays to all! (click the image above to check out FAB Magazine’s gift guide)
Reindeer Menage a Trois Sweater by Tipsy Elves! @ AMAZON
POLAR PIECE ONESIES
Who doesn’t want to be cuddly, warm and fuckable during the holidays? Polar Piece onesies are made of thick combed fleece and have kangaroo pockets, a fully lined hood and most importantly . . . a YKK two-way zipper (for easy access to your naughty bits). Made in Canada.
Available at polarpiece.com
BORN THIS WAY: REAL STORIES OF GROWING UP GAY Find YOUR Amazon HERE
Author Paul Vitagliano’s popular Born This Way blog has been sharing stories (with accompanying childhood photos) for years. Reading memories of growing up queer from different eras, from all over the globe and seeing the subjects as kids is such a great, simple idea. Now in book form, it seems even more brilliant. It’s a perfect gift for those who don’t understand . . . and those who totally do.
HURRAW! LIP BALM
There’s going to be a lot of kissin’, rimmin’ and cock sucking under the mistletoe, so you really should have soft and tasty lips. Hurraw! lip balm is certified organic, vegan and raw. The inventive flavours include Earl Grey, chai spice, grapefruit, root beer and vanilla bean. Not sweet, not too smelly and long-lasting. HURRAW
CHRISTMAS IN TINSELTOWN
The hilarious writer Frank DeCaro has compiled genuine recipes of the stars with some campy pop-culture goodness thrown into the mix. Who doesn’t want to make Peggy Lee’s Holiday Halibut Casserole, John Lennon’s Hot Cocoa or Lucille Ball’s Brazil Nut Stuffing? I know I do! Amazon
TRACEY THORN’S TINSEL AND LIGHTS
Tracey Thorn (Everything But the Girl) has released her first Christmas album, Tinsel and Lights (Merge Records). A delicate take on some holiday classics (“Hard Candy Christmas” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”) and wintery covers of Joni Mitchell’s “River” and Ron Sexsmith’s “Maybe This Christmas” make for a dreamy listen. Her self-penned title track is a new classic. AMAZON
SUFJAN STEVENS’ SILVER & GOLD
You have to love Sufjan Stevens’ obsessive-compulsive behaviour. He’s just released his second five-CD box set of Christmas tunes, Silver & Gold (Asthmatic Kitty Records). It’s an eclectic grab bag of Christmas classics (“We Three Kings,” “Silent Night,” “Ave Maria”) and Sufjan originals (“Happy Karma Christmas,” “X-Mas Spirit Catcher”). His crowning achievement has to be the 12-minute “Christmas Unicorn.” AMAZON
GRAND MARNIER
Grand Marnier is a holiday classic. The orange-flavoured liqueur was created in 1880 by Alexandre Marnier-Lapostolle and is made from a blend of cognac, distilled essence of bitter orange, and sugar. It tastes divine by itself, mixed into festive cocktails, and added to homemade cranberry sauce, and it’s frequently a key ingredient in the French holiday dessert classic bûche de Noël. @ fine liquor stores
KUSMI TEA
Kusmi Tea makes exclusive blends and high-quality traditional teas. The tins also look very pretty on one’s kitchen counter. Kusmi’s Christmas Tea is a blend of black teas flavoured with orange, almond, vanilla and spices. Humbug, you say? How about a Jasmine Green or Violet Tea? Bouquet of Flowers, a blend of black teas from China, Ceylon and India flavoured with bergamot, citrus and flowers, is to die for. Drink, pray, love. KUSMI
PAINE’S BALSAM FIR INCENSE
There’s nothing lovelier than the smell of a roaring fire (in a controlled space, of course). But most of us don’t live in a rustic cabin in the Muskokas or a stunning Victorian in the city. Fear not! Paine’s balsam fir incense sticks bring that comforting scent to your bachelor apartment, penthouse or dorm. ALMANAC
STROKE 29, SGT. COACH’s FAVE JERK-OFF LUBE!
Stroke 29, Empowered Products’ premium cream lubricant, is designed to take masturbation to a whole new level. Unlike Silicone- and water-based lubricants, this thick, non-greasy formula provides more than just wet slipperiness. After years of research, their team has developed a lubricant that gets better the longer you use it. As the cream heats up from repetitive stroking of masturbation, the product texture transforms at or around the 29th stroke to simulate the sensation of aroused human tissue. With the combination of heat and friction, a guy might actually forget he’s using his own hand. Stroke 29 provides a glide unlike any other masturbation lubricant available. The product’s viscosity stays intact and doesn’t break down during its transformation, so there is no need to re-apply. Stroke 29 skin-beneficial almond oil, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and is fragrance- and irritant-free.
ORDER HERE!
CLICK HERE TO XTRA (some more of the gift ideas)
Some hilarious, some grotesque (Onesies….no comment), some odd….and then there’s the lube.
THank you once again SGT. Santa, I may just have to invest in some. My orgasmless existence may just depend on such a product. If so, I’ll send the long over-due reward to you in a Ziploc bag! Haha!
Tell the hunky ‘Daddy’ Santa to bring me the goofy sweater, the Grand Marnier and the Gun Oil. He’ll be rewarded with something naughty and nice. Happy Holidays!
LOL
Santa’s little helper is sooooo HOT. Anyone know who he is?