How to Handle Your First Sex Club Experience

Images courtesy of Hard On London

Are sex-on-premises venues your kind of thing? Are you an old hand at navigating sex-clubs or are you a sex-club virgin?

If you’re a bit sex-club curious but haven’t yet explored that kind of encounter, here’s a few hints and tips to help give you the confidence and the courage you need to get out there and get amongst it.

What is considered a sex club experience?

The definition of a sex club will vary depending on where you are in the world. In most bigger cities, your sex-club options could range from your local gay bathhouse with hot tubs, saunas, gym equipment and sex aplenty, to specialist venues offering dedicated fetish nights, or one-off club nights where it’s a guy-on-guy free-for-all.

Travelling is a great way to experience different styles of sex-club. For example, if you’re visiting Berlin in Germany, you’ll probably want to check out venues such as Lab.oratory or Jaxx Club,

Features that you might find in a sex-on-premises venue could include darkrooms, mazes, glory holes, slings, or anything else that might fuel your fantasies.

Ultimately, a sex club is what it says on the tin – a place where guys get together and get off.

Are sex clubs legal?

The legality of a sex-on-premises venue really depends on where you are. Some countries have a more relaxed attitude to this than others.

Even within a specific city, there might be some variation in where sex clubs can operate – depending on the governance structure. For example, in London, the city is divided into different local authorities that are responsible for planning policy and regulation. That results in different planning outcomes depending on the local authority.

Before you head into a sex club, it’s worth doing a bit of quick research to understand what the legal position is and what your potential risks might be.

While you might encounter underground or unofficial sex clubs, an established venue that is advertising in the local gay press is likely to be professionally run and operating within the relevant local regulations.

How to find a sex club

Squirt.org continues to be the best gay hookup website to find various types of sex clubs and cruising locations worldwide.

Reviews are critical in helping you find the best sex club for you. For example, Squirt members – and other online review sources – will let you know if a particular place has a strict dress code or any other key information that you need to know before you go.

Most clubs will have a bouncer or door person and they will undoubtedly scan you up and down to see if you fit the vibe of the venue. The majority of sex-on-premises venues are pretty relaxed and welcoming, but you should be prepared that there is a chance that they won’t let you in. Being turned away from the door is no fun, but the most likely reasons that you’ll be rejected are if you don’t fit the theme, or if you’re drunk or appear to be on drugs.

Think about the rules and don’t be afraid to ask the staff

While the general principles of a sex club are going to be fairly similar wherever you are, specific venues might have rules or regulations that you need to be aware of.

For example, the venue might have strict drug control procedures in place, or they may strictly apply rules relating to underwear nights or naked nights.

If you’re not sure what you’re doing, the best idea is to ask the staff. Even if the staff don’t look particularly friendly, they’re there to help everything run smoothly. Just try not to be annoying – working at a sex-club isn’t easy. Don’t be the guy that no one wants to deal with.

Bring your gear or gay anal toys

Most sex-on-premises venues will have lube and condoms available somewhere, although it may not be the quality lube that you’re used to – it’s a good idea to take your own if you can.

Some venues will have restrictions on what you can bring in with you, while some sex-clubs are happy for you to come equipped with your own sex toys and poppers.

While a sex club may provide various places to do the deed, they won’t necessarily have other equipment handy. For example, if you’re into BDSM or some level of kink, you may need to bring your gear from home.

Think about consent and respect others’ boundaries – and your own

As with any sexual encounter, it’s important to be aware of personal boundaries and the importance of consent. That applies just as much to yourself as to the guys that you might hook-up with.

Your communication doesn’t have to be verbal – a raise of an eyebrow can get you a long way. However, if you’re feeling uncomfortable, or if you’re unsure if the guy you’re with is into what you’re doing, pause for a bit, take a break, and make sure that everyone is on the same page.

Written by Gareth Johnson