RANDY BLUE: Patrick Dunne is back. It has been a while, but as soon as I heard that southern twang come through the doors, I realized how much we have all missed this hot stud. And as soon as he saw that he was with muscle god Romeo Alfonso, a big huge smile went across his face. After a great photo shoot, the two went inside to the bedroom and began to make out. Patrick felt how big Romeo was, and pulled out his cock. After seeing that long hard rod, he fell to his knees and began sucking it. Then Romeo threw Patrick onto the bed and began to suck his dick as well.
Then Romeo kissed up Patrick and saw those delicious silver dollar nipples. Romeo began to go to town on his nipples, sucking them hard, all while his finger moved down to his hole. As his finger slid in, Patrick moaned out that he wanted more. Romeo was happy to oblige. He shoved his long shaft inside of him and fucked him mercilessly. Next Romeo sat back and let Patrick ride up and down on his dick. Patrick started yelling out as Romeo plunged his dick up into him. Finally, Romeo threw Patrick down, lifted his leg up into the air and rammed his cock deep inside. The pounding proved too much for Romeo, and he pulled out and shot all over Patrick, soaking his butt hole with cum. The feeling of hot cum hitting his crack sent Patrick over the edge too, and he shot a geyser all over himself. Finally they collapsed on top of each other and made out. Good to have you back, Patrick.
Next time you’re stuffing fistfuls of delicious bacon into your mouth, you might want to consider sticking a piece or two of crispy goodness into your crotch, then up your butt for good measure. No, I’m not suggesting you develop a kinky bacon fetish (although experimenting with bacon condoms is always a good idea), I’m just a firm believer in enjoying the maple-hickory goodness with all of your body’s taste receptors. Including the ones chilling on the tops of your testicles and at the entrance to your anus. Yeah, you read that right: if you have testicles, you also have a gorgeous set of taste receptors right at the tippy tops of your gonads, just waiting to approve or disapprove your flavored condom choices. The same goes for the neat cluster of taste receptors sitting just inside your anus, although we feel kind of bad for that particular part of your anatomy . . . something tells us Nature gave them the sh*tty end of the stick.
If you’re worried that taste is about to become more of an anal and testicular than an oral pastime, don’t be — the taste receptors in your anus and testicles aren’t likely to overwhelm more traditional forms of taste any time soon. In fact, your non-oral taste receptors (which, by the way, are also present in your stomach, intestines, pancreas, lungs, and brain) are pretty much limited to tasting sweet and umami flavors (like the kind contained in bacon, for example). None of your non-oral taste receptors come close to the tasting power of your tongue, however, so you probably won’t be tasting your toilet paper.
At this point, though, you’re likely less concerned with where the funky taste receptors are and more curious about why any possible evolutionary process would slap some taste receptors where the sun don’t shine. Unfortunately, science doesn’t really have an answer. . . yet. Scientists discovered the unusual taste receptors while studying fertility in rats, and they know that taking away male rat’s testicular taste receptors rendered them permanently sterile. So we know that, somehow, tasting the delicate bouquet of ball sweat flavors is vital to the reproduction process, we just don’t know why. Researchers will continue to study the link between flavor receptors and reproduction, and we’ll continue to pretend we don’t know any of this information. At least until the next time we grab some bacon-flavored condoms.
more CAIN Q pics HERE
Sam Biddle @ VALLEYWAG:
Since acquiring Tumblr, Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer began circling around Tumblr’s billion dollar GIF vortex, we wondered what Yahoo would do with the nasty stuff…
The brilliant, inelegant solution? Build a giant wall around the naked-sex-touching, and build it so tall that it’s hard to get around it: blogs with pornographic or even simply risqué stuff won’t show up on Tumblr tag pages (a popular way to navigate), or might be excluded from search engines.
This will also make it just as hard for you to find porn on Tumblr, which is a really big deal for millions of people who use Tumblr. The same millions of people who Yahoo! wanted so badly to buy access to, in order to advertise to them. But no one will want to advertise to them if they’re cruising for boobs. The problem here sounds confusing, but it’s not: Yahoo! bought Tumblr to be cool. Tumblr was cool, in part, because you could stumble upon boobs or some kind of freaky-ass GIF or whatever the hell. It was a free-thinking weirdo zone free from marketing prudes or content control charts. But once you start to build an internet red light district, the rest of town feels a lot less exciting.
The internet will never smile when you make it harder to masturbate.