DListed:

Hit pause on your Anal Assault 19 clip, put down your Jergen’s, and pull up your drawers. Masanobu Sato has got this. He’s been declared the World’s Champion Masturbator! He’s even got a trophy that should totally be a bronze casting of a crumpled tissue but isn’t. For you horny bitches who worry that your measly three shots a day in the stall at work might constitute a chronic masturbation problem which is going to get your ass fired when you’re found out, think again. According to Kotaku, Sato’s record is 9 HOURS AND 59 MINUTES.

Sato has a live-in girlfriend (!!!) who he doesn’t have sex with because she’s busy making dresses and timing his efforts. And weeping. Once you watch the vid, you’ll note that their apartment is tiny. She must have an umbrella on standby due to his preference for porn. Yes, The World’s Champion Masturbator has some hang-ups about sex with live girls. He doesn’t even wank to live-action porn. He fucks his fist to hentai because girls are “dirty” and they “smell”.

After years of sidestepping questions about his sexual orientation, actor Taylor Lautner reveals in a heartfelt posting online that he is gay.

“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man,” Lautner, 19, said Monday to People.com. “I am very blessed to be who I am.”

He said his Twilight costar, Kristen Stewart, inspired him to be true to himself.

“To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the love that my fans give to me,” says Lautner. “These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.”

“When someone like Taylor Lautner comes out, hundreds of millions of people now have a cultural connection with an actor, and perhaps most importantly, a celebrity who happens to be gay,” said Jarrett Barrios, President of GLAAD. “His decision to model this kind of openness and honesty can lead to greater acceptance for countless gay people in U.S. and worldwide.”