As part of our partnership with harm-reduction charity, Controlling Chemsex, we sat down with Alejandro and he shared his story with us.

**Trigger warning: This article discusses drug-use and sexual assault.

“It was three years ago when I moved to London – I was 22. I wanted to come to London and experience London life. I wanted to enjoy myself. I wanted to have fun.”

“I’ve always been a sociable person – I’ve always made friends easily – but when I came to London, I didn’t know anyone.”

“I arrived in London on a Friday at 2 PM. I opened Grindr. By 10 PM, I was at a chill-out in a house with about 12 other guys.”

“I’d been offered drugs before, but I’d never wanted to touch it. But on that day, my first day in London, all the guys that were there were doing it, and I said yes.”

“That night, I took mephedrone and GHB. They gave me the drugs for free. I was awake for about two days, just going from one house to another. I had sex with a porn-star. I felt amazing. I felt empowered.”

“The next weekend, I went out and was again offered drugs. It just kind of snowballed from there. The drugs were everywhere and readily available. You’d go for a drink in Soho – one drink would lead to another, and then someone would offer you drugs. Finding a drug dealer in London is easy – they’re like kebab shops, one on every corner.”

“Then, the crystal meth started.”

“This was about two months after I’d moved to London. I’d been out in Soho with a friend, we ended up at G-A-Y and someone offered me mephedrone. After that, I found a guy on Grindr and went home with him.”

“When we got to his place, he was doing meth. He gave me a blow-back, then I decided to try it with a pipe. It was so intense – it was next-level.”

“He invited more guys over and we did more meth. At some point, they gave me too much G and I pretty much passed out. I remember someone filming me while the other guys were fucking me.”

“That same night, I went home with one of the guys that was there – back to his place. I spent three days with him and his friends – sleeping, taking pills, getting high. They raped me again, filming it while they raped me.”

“That was my first experience of meth – of Tina. The comedown from that first time was the worst feeling that I’ve ever had in my life – physically horrible, my body felt like it was shutting down.”

“This will sound weird, but that was the beginning of the best time of my life. Sure, I had been robbed, I had been raped, I had been filmed without my consent, but I was really living the London life. I was going out, dancing, smoking Tina – it was amazing.”

“I started escorting – I put myself out there on rent-boy websites. Most of the guys that booked me wanted to do chems with me. I was getting sex, money, and drugs – it was perfect.”

“I felt seen, understood, and wanted. Mixing sex with these drugs makes you feel like the king of the world. It’s hard to explain, but I couldn’t get enough, I was never satisfied.”

“I was still working full-time during all of this – I was hiding my addiction from everyone, but as time went by I was feeling increasingly empty inside.”

“I never imagined this existence. Crystal meth is a powerful and intense drug, but it’s not just the drug – it’s everything that goes with it. I was once at a party – there were 40 guys in a house. There were people passed out while getting fucked, there were people vomiting, there were people hallucinating or crippled by paranoia. It sounds like it’s made up but it’s what happens. I don’t think people realise what really happens.”

“At chill-outs, it’s a sexual environment but sex isn’t happening all of the time. I talk a lot. I would talk with everyone, hearing their stories. A lot of people are doing chems to escape some sort of trauma, or because they feel lonely or isolated – just to escape everything, I guess. Chems is a way of blocking out that emptiness that we have inside of us.”

“I knew that I needed to stop. I was missing days at work. I was always tired. I wasn’t eating. I was constantly testing positive for STIs. I was twice admitted to hospital – the suicidal thoughts were getting the better of me.”

“I searched online for what support was available. I’d also talk with guys at chill-out parties who were trying to get help with their use of chems – that’s how I heard about Controlling Chemsex.”

“I’ve now been sober for 100 days. Every day is a battle. I’m still not very confident that I won’t relapse. Special occasions can be tough – especially if you’re feeling isolated. I don’t speak with my parents, I had a very traumatic childhood. Sometimes you just want to escape all of that. You lie to yourself – you convince yourself that you don’t care if you lose everything.”

“I’ve had to change my social life, my friends. To stay sober, you have to surround yourself with different people – you can’t meet up with the people that you did drugs with. I deleted Grindr.”

“If I’m going out, I set limits for myself. I take a set amount of cash, not a card. I drink singles not doubles. You have to think about where you are going out, and who you are going out with.”

“I’m learning which coping mechanisms work for me – to help me stay away from chems. I’m creating healthy habits – I’m going to the gym and giving myself space to embrace my feelings sober.”

“I’m looking at the future with no fear. My goal is to stay clean.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with issues surrounding the use of chems, contact Controlling Chemsex for free, confidential advice and support.

In the below piece, Travel aficionado and Squirt.org Member Urplaypal (Andy Oh) helps us explore a gay-friendly resort hotel in Madrid, Spain, The Axel Hotel. Check out Oh’s other piece on Undarius Hotel Gay Men’s Resort in Chihuahua Beach and his Lisbon, Portugal Villa 3 review.

I admired the stunning views at Axel Hotel’s Sky Bar while sipping a martini. Past the 5th-floor rooftop was Madrid’s fairy tale skyline with domes, turrets and towers. 

The sights up on the deck were even more exciting, men, men, and more men, sunning, swimming, strutting and flirting, all in the skimpiest, gayest swimsuits imaginable. 

While Axel Hotel is filled with many gorgeous gay and bisexual men, unlike other resorts and hotels I’ve stayed at, Axel is not men-only. Looking across the rooftop, a few women were there, peppered between the musclemen, bears and twinks. The long narrow swimming pool was like an aquarium full of exotic, bright, shiny bodies.

Is The Axel Hotel in Madrid a Gay Cruising Hotel?

Unlike other gay male resorts where clothes are gone the second you check-in, the Axel is a hookup hotel where the cruising happens across the property. Still, while the pick-up may happen at the pool, the Sky Bar or the lobby, the adventure must continue in your room.

Also, the ratio of gay males to straight couples and lesbians varies daily. My second day at Axel was so different from the night before when I first arrived. Last night, only a dozen people, male-male couples and a couple of girl-girls and a hetero couple, huddled and engaged with each other. The crowd was much more robust, with many more gay males than the previous night.

I finished my drink and headed for the elevator. That’s when I noticed a tall, muscular figure abandoning his drink and heading my way. As we waited for the elevator, we checked each other out. He looked to be around 50. His open shirt and white shorts revealed a gym-toned body, and his shaved head accentuated his handsome face. He filled every curve of his tight shorts.

After he entered the elevator and pressed for the third floor, he looked into my eyes and winked. Once we were alone in the elevator, eye contact turned to hands-on contact that moved from the elevator to his hotel room. 

The instant we got inside his room, our scant clothing was on the floor, our lips locked in a passionate kiss, and our hands explored each other eagerly. My new friend got to his knees and started to suck my cock while his finger slipped gently into my ass. I moaned in pleasure as each of his digits moved deeper and deeper into my hole, his throat gagging on every inch of my cock. 

I pushed his head down even deeper, and my athletic friend had no choice but to come up for some air. As he raised his head, I noticed his saliva had completely drenched my cock. 

He smiled up at me before continuing what he started; at first, I resisted, but giving in to the ecstasy, I came hard and fast down the throat of Muscle 50. My first night at Axel Hotel in Madrid had gone from zero to a hundred in just seconds. 

Where in Madrid is The Axel Hotel Located?

The Axel Hotel Madrid is an adults-only gay hotel, part of the Axel chain, which also has hotels in Barcelona, San Sebastian, Maspalomas (Gran Canary), Ibiza (a Spanish Mediterranean island), Miami, Havana and Berlin, with more hotels expected to open within the next couple of years in Valencia and Balboa (Spain), and Oporto and on the island of Madeira (Portugal). 

While the Axel is a chain of hotels, each hotel has a unique setting and offers a different slice of the gay world, but they all provide the same welcoming and inclusive hospitality. “Everything started with a dream… to open a hotel aimed at the LGBTQ+ world, my community,” explained Juan Juliá, President and founder of Axel Hotels. “A cosmopolitan and tolerant environment where atmosphere, diversity and respect are valued. The construction of Axel Hotel Barcelona, which opened in 2003, was the beginning of a project that, in the 20 years of existence, became what is now a hotel chain.” 

As mentioned above, like all of Axel Hotels, the one in Madrid welcomes adults but caters to gay guests, with the majority, during my visit, being gay and bisexual men. The atmosphere is friendly, festive and sophisticated. The hotels are all stylish, with quirky design elements and a certain level of luxury. Axel Hotels also hosts special events like drag queen shows, live DJs, live music and pool-side barbecues. 

Rooms at the Madrid Axel have a retro 1980s feel with pink accent walls, black and white tile work and moody cityscapes. The pricier suites (I was told) are palatial, decorated in a baroque, classically elegant style. A small but complete gym and spa has a Jacuzzi, sauna and massage area. For international travellers, the front desk and serving staff at Axel Hotel Madrid could serve me in English or Spanish, and I overheard them speaking French and German to other guests.

What Types of Gay Cruising Nightlife Can I Find in Madrid?

One of the best features of The Axel was its proximity to various cruise clubs and gay saunas. Near the hotel, two sex cruise clubs, Baca and Attack and Sauna Lavapies, are only a five-minute walk. You can count on getting some cock at all three of these places. 

For a greater variety and concentration of gay bars and clubs, Chueca, the gay neighbourhood, is a 20-minute walk, or if you don’t want to walk, take the Metro from La Latina Station to Chueca Station. You’ll find dozens of fun choices, including Organic Bar and the Show Bar & Shower, both sex clubs. 

Boyberry is also a bar with a cruisy back room, Bear Bar has a basement playroom, and Hot, favoured by mature bears and their lovers, is up the street; LL Bar is also renowned for its spectacular drag shows.

What Else Can I See and Experience When in Madrid?

Axel Hotel Madrid is also conveniently near many of the city’s cultural tourist attractions. The great art collections of the Prado Museum and the Thyssen-Bornemisza and Reina Sofia museums are a quick metro or bus ride away, as is the Royal Palace of Madrid with its expansive classical gardens and awe-inspiring rococo gilded salons. Retiro Park and the Glass Palace are also nearby for a nature escape in the city’s heart.

The Plaza Mayor is a large town square in Madrid with beautiful buildings, historical events, and a great place to enjoy coffee. The Porta del Sol is a transportation hub with a famous clock and a tradition of eating grapes on New Year’s Eve. Cheuca is a lively gay neighbourhood with bars, shops, and cultural attractions.

Parque del Buen Retiro Park is a large green space in the city with gardens, a lake, and a stunning greenhouse. The Royal Palace is the largest in Europe, with opulent decor and a collection of art and treasures.

Surrounding Axel Hotel, you’ll find Madrid’s most exciting blend of restaurants, cafes and bars, including classic tapas bars offering authentic Iberian cuisine. Axel Hotel Madrid is a short walk from the Puerta del Sol, the Sun Gate of the city’s original medieval defensive walls. It is the town centre and a transportation hub with metro and bus stations.

Having Fun within the Hotel: Your Madrid Getaway

If you aren’t in the mood to play the tourist, the rooftop Sky Bar in the Axel has a full range of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, Spanish and international beers and wines, a selection of liquors and liqueurs and expertly created cocktails. Snacks are available, and a breakfast buffet will start your day.

The bar is open to the public, not just hotel guests, and in the late afternoon, it gets busy with after-work locals and after-tour visitors. It’s a great place for people-watching. I saw two pretty girls kissing across the deck under a shaded awning. 

On the platform above the pool, a group of twinks in skimpy shorts danced wildly to the funky music. The elevator doors opened, and two dudes in exotic drag outfits paraded the length of the Sky Bar in glittery platform sandals. Their matching sundresses had plunging necklines revealing hairy chests. Gigantic sunhats shaded their bearded faces. They certainly attracted the attention they wanted, imitating fashion models on the runways of Paris. 

The Spanish sun warmed my soul. I scanned the crowd for last night’s friend, Muscle 50, but he wasn’t present. Instead, my eyes fixed on a cute guy in an orange bikini bottom that perfectly accentuated his perky ass and sun-browned body. The cute guy in the orange bathing suit was heading to the bar. I moved quickly, so I was suddenly standing next to him. 

“Que Pasa, Guapo?” I asked and soon learned that Trevor was British, had beautiful blue eyes, and would be pleased to join me at my table. My afternoon at Axel Hotel Madrid was heading for sensual delight.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Andy Oh lives near Vancouver. He frequently travels the world searching for sensual delights to share with his readers. He is Urplaypal on Squirt, and you can email him at andy.oh@hotmail.com