In case the dwindling number of pages left on your calendar and the drunken assholes in novelty 2012 glasses haven’t tipped you off already, the year is almost over. With the wave of Grabby-bait from gay porn studios receding, it’s time to look back on the year that was and all the things that made it great.
1/ Fisting
For the past couple years, double penetration was the token stunt position, because everyone knows that two dicks are better than one. But 2011 upped the ante by going for full-blown fisting. Despite being a niche fetish, it became more prevalent in mainstream porn as Jesse Santana, Erik Rhodes and Race Cooper showed off their handballing skills. The fact that all this went down the same year the Muppets, also known for having hands shoved up their asses, made their return to the big screen is probably just a coincidence, but I like to think this was all planned ahead of time.
Trying to keep track of which pornstar ended up at which studio this year is like taking a head count at a dark-room gangbang: absolutely impossible. Kennedy Carter signed with CockyBoys, Samuel Colt shacked up with Lucas Entertainment, Tony Buff joined Raging Stallion . . . Long story short, everyone is fucking everyone. Way simpler.
Making fun of newcomer Spencer Fox was like fishing in a barrel with dynamite — if the fish were insane and the water was pure, liquid crazy. Fox spent the year trashing porn studios, sending death threats to bloggers and publishing homophobic blog posts. In the end, Fox’s short-lived career crashed and burned so hard, kamikaze pilots use his porn movies as instructional videos.
