Via D-Listed:
Today’s definition of “too easy” is the e-mail that farted into my inbox with the subject: “Video: Anderson Cooper’s Cell Has Fecal Bacteria On It!”

I have come up with three explanations for this (literal) shit:

1. The Silver Fox’s BlackBerry (more like BrownBerry) is a bareback top who really needs to wear a Trojan cell phone cover more often.

2. Mah Boo just learned a valuable lesson: you should always rinse with Listerine after you eat ass and before you use your phone.

3. It vibrates, and I’ll leave it at that.