Sexual kinks range from vanilla to the extreme. At the relatively vanilla end of the spectrum – and therefore fairly accessible to us all – is a bit of light choking.

Are you into it? Let’s get to grips with the subject.

What is Sexual Choking?

The more skilled providers of gay BDSM experiences describe this as breath-play. The concept is pretty straightforward – the dominant sexual partner restricts the oxygen flow to the submissive sexual partner. The easiest way to do this is to wrap your hands around his neck and provide some pressure.

It’s a control move – consensually, obviously – creating a sexual turn-on by feeling that your life is in the hands of another.

Speaking of consent, it’s important to note that this article explores the consensual aspect of breath-play and sexual choking. When exploring this aspect of BDSM, like any form of BDSM, it’s important to have consent and do this with a sexual partner you trust.

Squirt.org does not condone any form of sexual, physical or spousal assault, and the below must be considered as a guide to those familiar with BDSM, the staunch rules of consent within the community and readers interested in the sex-positive elements of BDSM relationships.

Why Do Some Gay Males Get Off on Breath Play Kink?

Exploring the Power Dynamics

When it comes to sexual choking, it takes two to tango – both the dominant and the submissive sexual partners need to be turned on by the role-play scenario that you’re exploring.

Like a lot of kink play, sexual choking is all about the exploration of power dynamics. The dominant partner is getting off on taking control, while the submissive partner is getting off on relinquishing control.

BDSM encounters are defined by trust and the agreed boundaries of the encounter. Sexual choking is no different – it only works if both parties are convincing in their roles but confident that their boundaries will be respected.

The Science of sexual choking

As well as the control aspect of the encounter, there is some science that suggests that breath-play can also deliver physical arousal in and of itself – that comes down to the endorphins released while you’re being choked.

The breath play effectively confuses the pleasure and pain receptors within the brain. After oxygen deprivation, the taking of fresh breaths triggers the brain to release pleasure-related endorphins.

So, as well as being juiced up by submissive kink turn-on, the endorphins released by the brain will reinforce that this is all feeling good, that you’re physically aroused by what’s going down.

Auto Erotic Asphyxiation versus being choked by a guy

If you’re chasing the endorphins that can be released during breath-play, that is something you can do by yourself – that’s Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation. There’s potentially a greater risk of self-harm if you do it yourself. If this is something you can explore with a sexual partner, then you’ve got someone there who knows your boundaries and limits and won’t let the oxygen deprivation go too far.

How Can I Practice Sexual Choking Safely with a Partner?

Want to give it a try? Here’s some things to think about to get you started.

Consent is key: The best sexual choking experiences generally are those that feel a bit spontaneous and a bit dangerous, but you’ve got to be clear about consent. When you wrap your hands around the neck of the guy you’re fucking, is it clear that he’s into it? If you’re not sure, ease off – it’s important that you’re reading his signals correctly.

Education and research: If this is something that interests you, do the research. Become a bit of an expert on breath play – understand the techniques and the risks. For example, you don’t want to put pressure directly onto the windpipe – that’s much more likely to cause your sexual partner damage. Focus your pressure on the sides of the neck – that will deliver the sensations you’re looking for while keeping things safe and injury-free.

Start slow and gradual: Like pretty much any sexual activity, it’s best that you ease into sexual choking. If you go in hard at a 10, you’ve left yourself nowhere to go – not to mention that you’ll probably scare him off. Start slowly, with light pressure. Get to know each other’s limits. Build the pressure, build the intensity, build the pleasure.

Communication and safe words: It’s hard to verbalize your safe word when someone is choking you. Communication can be non-verbal, and safe words can be non-verbal. You just need to be really aware that sexual choking is all about trust. Ensure you’re hyper-sensitive to any form of communication that your sexual partner might be trying to convey.

Avoid drugs and alcohol: Drugs or alcohol will impair your judgement and make you less aware of what’s happening at the moment. Things are more likely to go wrong if you’re experimenting with sexual choking while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. While chemsex is very common within the gay community, sexual choking isn’t something that you want to try and combine with crystal meth or G.

Can I Use Squirt.org to Find a Choking Partner and Cruise for Sex?

Squirt.org is your #1 gay hookup website to find gay, bi and curious males who can be into the type of kink you crave. From choking to spanking to typical rope bondage, or even just gay nipple play: chat with someone open to a little adventure and ready for a hookup near you.

Squirt.org doesn’t promote sexual asphyxiation, but we are promoters of hot gay sex on our terms, meaning gay, bisexual or curious men looking for sex the way they like is quite all right.

Squirt.org isn’t just a fetish website but allows all types of men, from bears, twinks or those seeking NSA fun at local bathhouses, for example, to connect and meet males who want to have some hot gay sex.

Written by Gareth Johnson