Logically, realistically, practically – our worth is not measured in dick-size. Whatever your dick looks like, you can be an amazing person. Whatever your dick looks like, you can have amazing sex and leave your hook-ups beyond satisfied.
However, we live in a culture that seems to inherently equate big with better.
Given that we have zero control over the size of our dick, that leaves many of us battling body-anxiety. That kind of constant worry about how other people perceive your body can really fuck with your head – particularly when you want them to find you physically attractive, particularly when you want them to get up close and personal with your dick.
Which is how we end up at the question: “Are you a grower or a shower?”
What does it mean if your penis is a “grower, not a shower”?
On one hand, it’s an innocuous enough question – we’re just curious, right? What does your dick look like when it’s soft? What does it look like when it’s hard? Does it look on the small side but then balloon up when erect or is it pretty much what it looks like on the tin?
But the subtext of that question obviously triggers our body-anxiety. The assessment and comparison of penis-size is the focus. It’s a conversation that assumes that smaller penises are something to be embarrassed about and apologised for – it triggers all of our worst instincts.
Again, it’s worth emphasising that we have no control over what our dick looks like. Whether you have an uncut or cut dick is rarely something that you’ve had any input in. How your dick looks when soft or hard is all down to the way your DNA has assembled your genetic information.
Placing judgement or value on something that we have zero control over is unfair. But given that the size of your dick really has no bearing on whether you’re an interesting person or a good fuck, it’s kind of crazy how much time and energy we spend obsessing about it.
Why does my flaccid dick look smaller than others before it’s hard?
If you’re a dude who has sex with other dudes, then you inevitably get plenty of opportunities to compare what your dick looks like in relation to other guys. Whether that’s an anonymous gay hookup on Squirt, or strutting around the local gay bathhouse for Naked Night or a gay underwear party at a local gay cruising bar, it’s only natural to compare and contrast with the cock buffet on display.
While guys with objectively big dicks aren’t having a crisis about why their cock looks bigger than everyone else’s, those of us that are on the smaller side have to find a way to navigate the anxiety that accompanies the realisation that we’re not the biggest on the team.
While things such as overall health and age can play a factor in what your dick looks like – both when it’s soft and when it’s hard – it pretty much all comes down to genetics. Your genes are what’s passed down from your family – the generations that have come before you. Your genes carry all sorts of information that make you who you are – particularly when it comes to your appearance. In simple terms, if you feel like your dick is a bit on the smaller side, probably all the men in your family felt the same way.
Environmental factors can play a role in what your dick looks like. For example, if the weather is cold, your dick is going to look smaller. If you’re sitting in a hot-tub or a sauna, your dick is going to look bigger.
If your weight is fluctuating, you might feel that your dick looks bigger when you’re leaner. It’s an optical illusion but you might feel that your dick is more visible when you lose weight. That also works if you’re a hairy dude – trim a bit of the hair off and everyone will be able to see a bit more of your dick which is particularly useful when you’re taking a hot dick pic for gay hookup websites.
How can I make my penis look bigger when at a sex club?
Maybe it’s your first time at a sex club and you’re feeling intimidated by the big dick daddies, or maybe you’ve got some body-anxiety to deal with that’s preventing you from connecting with the sexual energy in the room.
It’s a common experience that getting in your head leads to performance anxiety during sex. You may want to step up to the plate and take your turn at the gay group banging of whatever bottom is in the sex sling, taking loads, but worrying about whether or not your dick is big enough is going to hold you back from immersing yourself in that experience.
To hit the sex club with maximum confidence, here’s a few things worth trying.
Should I consider gay manscaping to make my penis look larger?
A bit of manscaping goes a long way.
Trimming: Use electric clippers or scissors to reduce the volume of your pubes. The more prominent and visible that your penis is, the bigger it appears to be.
Shaving: It’s not essential to shave everything but it is definitely going to maximise how much people can see of your cock. Some guys will find smoothness a turn-on, some guys will find it a turn-off. Make your manscaping decisions based on what you like, not the opinions of anyone else.
Waxing: Longer-lasting results than shaving but best done by a professional. Some guys’ skin doesn’t react well to waxing, so worth doing a test if it’s your first time.
Laser Hair Removal: This is expensive and takes a number of treatments in order to reduce hair growth. It’s semi-permanent but you will need to occasionally get it redone to prevent your pubes from growing back.
Take advantage of the darkroom
If your body-anxiety is holding you back from enjoying yourself at a sex-on-premises venue, heading to the darkroom is a sensible strategy. If guys can’t really see what’s going on, no one is going to be looking at your dick.
A dark room at a sex club is a designated space for sexual encounters, generally with very low lighting. Some gay clubs across North America still have them but they’re particularly popular in gay European saunas and bars.
A steam-room in a bathhouse is another good option if you’re looking for gay bareback sex in a low-visibility environment.
Can taking Viagra make my penis look less flaccid?
Erectile dysfunction medication such as Viagra or the generic sildenafil works by increasing blood flow to your dick – helping you to get and stay erect when you’re aroused.
The benefits of Viagra really only kick in when your body starts to feel aroused, so simply taking the pill isn’t going to have a visual impact on your flaccid cock.
However, if you’re feeling the vibe, you’ll probably find yourself chubbing up and getting a semi without much effort – that’s always a good look in a sex-on-premises venue.
The bottom line is that you need to be in the right head-space to relax and enjoy the sexual energy in the room. Taking a Viagra isn’t going to do that work for you.
What are the risks of taking penis-enhancing medication?
Erectile dysfunction medication is generally only available on prescription, so your prescribing doctor will have warned you about the potential risks and side-effects. For example, you shouldn’t be taking something like Viagra if you’ve got low blood-pressure.
Also, if you’ve taken Viagra and you’re feeling dizzy or light-headed, stop taking the medication, tell someone that you’re feeling unwell, and see a doctor to figure out what’s going on.
