Whether you’re looking to spice things up or get something out of a gay threeway or a gay group sex experience you may not be getting in your relationship, adding a third can be the best or worst decision.

In this post we’ll detail some questions to try and help you navigate making the decision about whether to add another castmate to your bedroom stage – without sabotaging your relationship in the process.

Have You Spoken About the Reasons You Want a Gay Threeway?

Relationships are generally at their best when you’ve got good communication. Even if you both think a threesome is a great idea, it’s still really important to have a conversation about what you’re each hoping to get out of it, or what your expectations are when it’s go-time.

This is a good time to have an honest conversation with each other about what your fantasies are, what you’d like to happen during the threesome, and what types of guys you’d be interested in inviting into your bed. Do you want to add a twink or a leather daddy or something else?

You might be thinking that a threesome will be a good way to explore some of the kinks that have been fuelling your fantasies. If you think you might have a gay foot fetish or you want to see what cuckolding is all about, then it’s important that you let each other know or you run the risk of feeling a bit frustrated by the whole experience.

Do You Have a Specific Reason You Both Want a Threesome?

Everyone’s relationship is different, and there’s obviously no obligation to do anything that you’re not into or might make you feel comfortable.

A mistake that we’ve all made is to try and fix a relationship by suggesting a threesome. As a general rule, if the sex is no longer really working between you and your partner, then inviting someone else over to play is – at best – a distraction from the underlying problem, it’s not a solution.

You’ll probably get the most of a threesome if you articulate what you feel will be the turn-on for you. For example, you might want to see your partner being fucked, or you might want to be double-penetrated, or you might to spit-roast a guy. The more you can explain to each other – “the reason I’d like us to have a threesome is because I want…” – then the easier it is to be on the same page and in the same head-space when it comes to inviting someone over so you can all get it on.

Are You Able to Agree on A Guy?

Deciding on which guy to have your threesome with is part of the fun. There’s no need to rush it – spend some time looking at porn and sending each other images of the types of guys that you think would fulfil your fantasies. Use hook-up apps to see who is in your neighbourhood and spend some time with your partner comparing which guys might be potential options.

Again, what you want out of the threesome experience will probably shape the type of guy that you’re looking for. If you want a big muscular guy that you both can worship, there’s no point inviting over a college guy looking to get dicked-down by two daddies.

During the Threesome

Just like any sexual encounter, you’ve got a responsiblity to each other to make sure that everyone is having a good time and having their needs met. When there’s three of you in the bed, you’ve all got to be a bit more aware to ensure that no one is feeling left out.

Obviously, the dynamic between you and your partner is a bit different to the dynamic that you’ve got with the guy you’ve invited over – the third. You want to make sure that you’re being a good host to the third, but you also need to ensure that both you and your partner are getting the kind of experience that you were hoping for.

It’s a good idea for you and your partner to have agreed a “safe word”. This isn’t BDSM, but a safe word is still a good idea so that you can quickly signal to each other if things are going off the rails. If one of you plays the safe word card, you need to respect that – take a break and make sure that everyone is okay.

After the Threesome

You don’t want to get too corporate about your threesome experience but it’s a good idea to have a bit of a debrief after it’s all over. Maybe go out for breakfast or a drink or something – just to give each other the space to talk about what went down and whether it met everyone’s expectations.

Ideally, what you’re looking for is an affirmation from each other that enjoying a threesome together is a way of strengthening your relationship. Being able to share a sexual experience together like that, should confirm that you’re a good match – that you’ve got similar desires and needs and you can create opportunities to explore all of that together.

However, you also have to be prepared that instead of strengthening your relationship the threesome has highlighted some underlying issues. Either of you may start to realise that you’ve got desires or needs that are probably incompatible with the relationship that you’ve currently got.

Threesomes can be a lot of fun but when you’re dealing with human emotions and sexuality things can get complicated real fast.

What have been your experiences of threesomes? Jump into the comments section below and share the good and the bad, plus any tips or tricks that you think we should all know about!

Written by Gareth Johnson