Cuckolding is a sexual scenario that describes how one person is aroused by their partner having a sexual encounter with someone else.

It’s a term that dates back centuries – its first recorded use is in 1250. It’s origins come from the cuckoo bird, who lays its eggs in the nests of other birds, leaving them to rear the young.

It’s traditionally been seen as a heterosexual construct. The cuckold is the husband of the adulterous wife. But it’s a sexual fantasy that is increasingly something that gay men also connect with.

There’s some variations on how this fantasy can play out, but the most common scenario is that if you are the cuckold, your husband or your boyfriend is being fucked by someone else. The guy doing the fucking is referred to as the bull.

A Cuckold scenario is different to a Stag scenario. In a Stag scenario, you’re whoring out your husband because it turns you on to share him with other men. If you’re a Cuckold, you don’t get any say in what’s going down – your husband is getting his sexual satisfaction from other men and that turns you on.

I caught up with @gaycuckoldhubby to go deep on cucks and bulls and bringing our fantasies to life.

The appeal of the cuck fantasy

“It’s interesting to me that gay cuckold porn didn’t get off the ground until the last few years…” says @gaycuckoldhubby as we reflect on what seems to be a surge in interest in the scenario. “It pretty much coincided with the legalisation and normalisation of gay marriage.”

“It’s primarily a fetish connected to norms of monogamy and expectations in relationships, so that connection makes sense to me.”

“Cuckolding looks a bit different for gay guys than straight ones because monogamy isn’t necessarily the most common gay relationship structure. But I think the emotions and feelings and turn-ons are kind of universal among all cucks.”

The allure of infidelity

“Infidelity is definintly the core fantasy for gay cucks…” confirms @gaycuckoldhubby. “It’s the acknowledgment that your partner desires other men and that other men desire your partner.”

“Another core element is humiliation or insecurity at not being able to fully or adequately satisfy your partner by yourself. For cucks, that realisation is often emasculating and triggering in an erotic way.”

“Denial is also a big part of the experience for many cucks. Denial in the sexual acts being enjoyed by their partner and sometimes even being denied orgasms and pleasure in a BDSM setting.

“Penis size, Small Penis Humiliation, and chastity cages are simply different ways of expressing the fetish.”

Bringing home the bull

“I recently ran a poll on my site asking cucks who they fantasised about fucking their husband or boyfriend…” explains @gaycuckoldhubby. “Most guys want the bull to be a stranger, as opposed to a friend, a work colleague, or an ex-boyfriend.”

“The results of the poll didn’t surprise me at all. Especially in the fantasy realm, the anonymous stranger can be very powerful – it’s dirtier and it’s hot to view your partner as a promiscuous slut.”

“Since cuckolding relies on messing with relationship status, being cucked by a stranger is also somewhat safer on the emotional level – there’s less chance of your partner catching feelings. It’s just pure sex.”

“That being said, some cuck’s have a desire for their partner to develop an emotional connection to another man. For them, it enhances the cuckold experience.”

“In reality, most cucks that I’ve talked with settle on a mix of hookups and friends with benefits.”

A community of cucks

“Tumblr is what really spawned the gay cuckold community…” says @gaycuckoldhubby as we talk about the role of social media in helping guys to explore this fantasy.

“Since the demise of Tumblr, a few websites and forums have tried to get started but Twitter is really where it’s at. Mostly it’s porn and some personal anecdotes.”

“Some good Twitter accounts to follow are @CuckSoCal, @SethMcphee, @kent_alt, @jakelee62510135, @seacuckus, @cuckoldsf, and @manyourbreed.”

“A few writers on sex have jumped into the science and physiology involved in gay cuckolding – check out the work of Dan Savage, Dr. Joe Kort, Dr. David Ley, and Justin LehMiller.

The commitment of cucks

“To successfully be in a cuckold relationship you need to have a solid underlying relationship based on trust and communication…” asserts @gaycuckoldhubby, when I ask him what cuckold fantasies might indicate about your relationship.

“Almost every single cuckold relationship I know of transitioned into what they have now. Sometimes sexual boredom can be the spark that starts the transition but most find that the spark comes back after trying out cuckolding, just manifested differently.”

“Cuckolding is a fetish that is more focused on the emotional and psychological elements than the physical ones, at least for the cuck. It’s more of a mind fuck than a body fuck. It’s entirely reliant on each other and it needs both partners to make it work.”

Cuck 1.01

“It depends what your relationship looks like now…” says @gaycuckoldhubby, when I ask how best to take the first steps of exploring cuck fantasies within a relationship.

“If you’re monogamous, then start out by mentioning your fantasies. Let him know how sexy it would be to see him play with another man – tell him how hot he would look in that scenario.”

“Take it slow! Role-play a lot and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s important to know that it’s a journey and can include wrong turns and dead ends, which just means you try another way.”

“Make sure everyone knows that they have a veto button. If you allow him to say no, he will be much more likely to say yes.”

“If you’re in an open Don’t Ask Don’t Tell relationship, let him know you want to be told! If you have threesomes, tell him that you want to just watch.”

“If you’re having a hard time explaining why you’re into cuckolding, then do a little research – you’ll find some good articles that might help you articulate it better.”

“This should be fun and sexy and a little silly. Have fun on your journey!”

Follow @gaycuckoldhubby on Twitter