A story of overcoming anxiety and taking loads

This article by Kevin Moroso was originally published in Xtra Magazine as part of the Filling Station column.

I walked into the bathhouse and handed the man my membership card. I was all confidence, Jake all nerves. Grabbing our towels and a key for the double room, we walked downstairs, searched for our door, went inside, and closed it behind us.

Jake began to hyperventilate.

“I don’t think I can do this — I’m having a panic attack,” he said.

I held him close and told him it was okay, we’d just lie on the bed together for a while. We lay down, holding hands, enough space between us so he could breathe. Jake hadn’t been to a bathhouse or even had group sex since he’d quit meth a couple years ago. He was desperate to enjoy wild sex again, but the space triggered his anxiety.

“It’s totally okay,” I said. “We can go. Just walk up and leave. You aren’t going to disappoint me — I’m just as happy spending a night together, just the two of us. You’re all I need.” Jake took a deep breath. He wanted to do this and now was his opportunity, with someone he trusted. We lay there for a little while longer, Jake taking deep breaths, me just holding his hand.

Well, it was now or never. We both got up and stripped down to our jockstraps. I placed my lube beside the bed, and told Jake to kneel at the edge. As he did, I took out my Jiffy marker and wrote the following words on his ass cheeks:

“CUM DUMP”

Seeing those words written on his ass turned me rock hard. I grabbed my blindfold and covered Jake’s eyes. I asked him if he was ready. He took a deep breath, and said yes.

I turned and opened the door halfway. I grabbed the lube, poured some on my cock, and plunged deep into Jake’s hole. As I fucked him, I kept my eyes on the door. Some men walked by, stopped, looked, then kept walking. One man walked into the room for a closer look. After a minute, I asked if he wanted to take a turn, but he declined, watched some more, then walked away.

A couple minutes later, two guys who seemed to be together, one in his 40s, the other in his 20s, walked into the room. They watched for a little, and when I offered Jake’s ass the younger one took the bait. I pulled out of Jake, and the guy took over. He seemed to enjoy himself but didn’t say a word. He grunted a little, breathed heavily, thrust faster, then let out a big sigh.

Jake had gotten his first load of the night.

After the younger guy finished, the older guy took over and fucked Jake. Again, no words were exchanged. Once he had shot his load, the two guys left the room and I shut the door behind them. I took the blindfold off Jake and brought him onto the bed with me.

“How are you feeling now?” I asked. Jake told me he was doing just fine. After a few minutes of chilling, I suggested we take a walk around. We cruised the corridors and walked down to the dark room. Jake took some more cock there before we returned to our room. After several loads, we had had enough. We got dressed, grabbed our belongings, and checked out. We went back to my place, I fucked him one last time, and we fell asleep cuddling.

A week later, we hosted a group play party at a B&B we were staying at. There was no more anxiety. In fact, Jake has been taking part in more group sex back home. He’s starting to fulfil his desires all on his own.

I’ve written about why I enjoy being a cum dump on occasion. Not often, but sometimes I get the strong urge. But what do I get out of making someone else into a cum dump? Why are so many of the guys I date or have romantic feelings for cum dumps?

Well, for one, I’m a vers top and have a pretty insatiable sex drive. I like a partner who is ready to get fucked at a moment’s notice, and guys who are insatiable vers bottoms are also very likely to be cum dumps.

Second, cum dumps tend to enjoy wild sex, a trait I share. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy passionate, vanilla, one-on-one sex with lots of cuddling. But I also like to be more adventurous: private orgies, public orgies, park sex, alley sex, exhibitionism, piss play, role play, bondage. If a guy is into being a cum dump, he’s likely into a lot of that too.

Third, I usually prefer being in control when it comes to sex. I’m going to put you into the position I want you to be in, I’m going to tell you what to do in bed, I’m going to control your body and hold you down. And being in control of someone’s ass — who can enter, who cannot — gives me a sense of power.

Finally, ego. That’s my guy everyone is breeding. They’re into him and he’s mine. Seeing him take all the dick like a cum-addicted bottom just turns my crank.

Jake doesn’t live in the same city as I do, unfortunately. But I’ve been fortunate to meet others like him all over. Some may be surprised to find out how many guys are into it. My great uncle used to have a lady in every port, so I guess I’m carrying on a family tradition of sorts — I have cum dumps in cities around the world. And perhaps one day I’ll settle down and have a cum dump I can call mine.