You don’t have to scratch too deep into human sexuality to realise that what fuels our fantasies can quickly take us into some unexpected places.

You might describe some of these fantasies as unconventional or taboo – your fantasies can take you into some pretty dark and twisted places that are a long way removed from the reality of your day-to-day sex-life.

Some people find it difficult to admit the appeal of these fantasies to themselves, let alone discuss them with other people. Human sexuality is complex and complicated.

Across the landscape of taboo sexual fantasies of gay men, one of the most popular is role-play that forced sexual encounters. The technical term for this is consensual non-consent – the short-hand that you often see online is non-con. In simple terms, they’re rape fantasies.

Obviously, we’re not making any moral judgments about this – no kink-shaming, we’re here to support and celebrate the full gamut of kinks and fetishes. Consent is the key word in all of this – if someone hasn’t consented to be part of the role-play, then you can’t call it a role-play. You need to understand where the boundaries are.

Let’s get into it.

What is Consensual Non-Consent or Rape Play?

When you’re role-playing this kind of thing in person, you’re effectively agreeing – in advance for one guy to take on the role of the aggressor while the other guy takes on the role of the victim. It’s a variation of the Dom/Sub dynamic.

While the scenario that you’re role-playing might revolve around a form of rape or sexual assault, the key starting point is that you have both consented to take part in this role-play and what is going to happen – it’s consensual non-consent.

Why Would Gay Men Crave Rape Play Fantasies?

Rape fantasies are nothing new – it’s part of the broad BDSM landscape fuelled by the sexual energy of power, control, and submission that gay bondage fanatics will be very familiar with.

While it might be tempting to psychoanalyse what might be at the root of someone’s rape fantasies, it doesn’t always track that our fantasies correlate to some kind of trauma that we’re acting out. Sometimes, it’s just sexy to role-play sexed-up scenarios that can’t be safely explored in real life.

The taboo nature of a kink can, in and of itself, be a turn-on. Rape is a criminal offence – it’s a very emotive subject, it’s the most visible form of sexual violence. Knowing that you’re doing something “wrong” can be what pushes your buttons.

One theory is that wanting to explore a role-play fantasy about being raped helps us to feel desirable. We can imagine that we’re so desirable – such a turn-on – that guys lose their self-control. Random guys want to fuck us so much that they just grab us and rape us – that’s the power that our sexiness has. It kind of links in to embracing our inner-slut – something like, I’m such a slut and so obviously fuckable that guys don’t even need to bother asking my consent to fuck me, they just shove their cock in knowing that I’ll take it. Kind of hot, right?

Safety Measures for Consensual Non-Consent Role Play Sex

Before you embark on any kind of role-play – but particularly ones that centre around non-consent – you’re going to need some clear communication and boundaries with whoever it is that you’re exploring this fantasy with.

As in any kind of BDSM encounter, agreeing a safe word is a good starting point.

Emotional after-care may not sound particularly sexy but it’s definitely worth thinking about before you dive in to any rape role-plays. What happens when the role-play is over? Some kind of debrief opportunity is really important so that you can transition out of the roles that you were both playing, so you can process any emotions or feelings that came up during the session, and so you can get some closure on what was an undoubtedly really intense experience for you both. Get the debrief right and you’ll probably want to go harder and deeper into the role-play when you next get the opportunity.

Finding a Partner for Your Rape Play Fantasy

Squirt.org is a place where all types of gay and bisexual males come together, and the best part about our community of males is that Squirt is an accessible channel to communicate about sex and to find a guy who wants to try precisely what you want to try.

Whether you’re looking to arrange a hot gay orgy where your mouth is used repeatedly, or just one man eager to try all types of BDSM fun with you, Squirt helps you find it.

Use our IM chat to share these fantasies with other guys, or fill out your profile with your turn-ons so that others online can spot what you’re into and share if they feel the same.

Squirt.org is a portal for all things sex and can help you not only find someone to explore your sexuality with but also even hit record share your kinks with the world.

Written by Gareth Johnson