There’s nothing new about curious straight guys, right? If you’ve spent any time cruising, you’ll have come across your fair share of DL guys and dudes who just happen to be in the right place at the right time for a bit of no-questions-asked man-on-man action.

But if a curious straight guy slides into your DMs, it can be tricky terrain to navigate. Let’s get into it.

Why are straight men having gay sex?

While everyone likes the simplicity of a binary world, trying to label everything and confine ourselves to specific boxes of behaviour is very limiting and doesn’t recognise the complexity of our lives.

If someone tells you that they’re straight, don’t assume that it’s a label that totally defines them. There’s lots of grey areas and fluidity when it comes to sexuality. A guy might be into a bit of man-on-man action, but still identify as straight. That’s his business. He may still be working some stuff out, or he might just have a different understanding of sexuality and identity than you do. Not everyone plays by the same rules.

There’s lots of reasons why a straight dude could be up for some fun with another guy. They might get off on the masculine energy, it might just be convenient for them, or it’s something that they’ve seen in porn and felt like giving it a go. You don’t need to understand why a straight guy wants to have sex with you, you just need to be clear on whether or not you want to have sex with them.

What is homoflexible?

Homoflexibility refers to men who primarily identify as heterosexual but are open to exploring same-sex experiences or relationships to varying degrees. It’s a concept that blurs the lines between strictly gay or straight classifications.

For example, if a guy that identifies as straight is down for gay gym hookup, you could probably describe him as homoflexible. Of course, bisexual is another term that could be applied in this situation, but a guy that’s just dipping his toe into having sex with men may not be ready to embrace a bisexual identity.

When fucking straight guys, am I hooking up with bicurious men?

Bicurious is another helpfully vague term that you’ll often hear when talking about straight guys who have sex with men.

Straight guys that are open to exploring things sexually quickly realise that their butt is a major erogenous zone. Once you start to unlock the pleasure that your can experience through different parts of your body, your imagination kicks in – what would it be like to be fucked by another guy?

If we limit ourselves and we limit the sexual encounters that we allow ourselves to experience, then we’re potentially shutting ourselves off from a whole world of pleasure.

How Can I Have Sex with a Homoflexible Male?

If you’re scrolling through a gay hookup app or website and you’re chatting with a guy who identifies as straight but seems interested in getting naked with you, here’s some hints and tips to help you navigate the encounter.

Create a Risk-Free Environment to Sexually Explore

Chances are that this isn’t going to be the first bi-male sexual experience that your straight guy has pursued. Nevertheless, you’re probably going to need to demonstrate a bit of empathy and understanding if it feels like he’s giving you mixed signals or a bit of a chaotic energy.

You’re not there to pass judgement or to ask probing questions about his personal life or identity. You’re just two dudes, getting down to business. Just two guys with needs, helping each other out.

Take It Slow

It’s likely that you’re going to have way more experience than him when it comes to how gay sex goes down.

You’re going to need to be patient and let him set the pace.

Kissing might weird him out – try not to be offended by that.

I always find that offering to give a straight guy a massage is an easy starting point. Get him naked, get him on your bed, and get him used to you touching his body in a non-threatening way. You don’t have to be good at massage but a bit of enthusiasm goes a long way.

Don’t Expect Anything

You might be the kind of guy who doesn’t feel satisfied unless you’ve been stretched and pounded with some gay double penetration or flooded with the loads of a room full of anonymous fuck-buddies.

It’s important to be aware that your straight guy might be at the more vanilla end of the spectrum. He might be up for a mutual jack-off session and some light frottage. If that’s not going to cut it for you, then maybe this isn’t the hook-up that you’re looking for.

Ask Questions (If You Want To)

After you’ve both cum, it’s going to be tempting to try and debrief with your straight guy as to what went down. Did he enjoy it? Will there be repeat business?

The reality is that it might take him a while to process things. He may leave straight away without saying much, he might not return your messages, he may block you. It’s not personal – he’s a straight guy who’s figuring some stuff out. That’s what you’re signing up for – if that’s what you’re into.

Written by Gareth Johnson

None of us really has a “normal” relationship with food. Whether we’re counting calories, or trying to lose weight or gain muscle mass, our low-level body anxiety distorts our perception of what a balanced diet looks like and tends suck the joy out of every meal.

But what if your relationship with food somehow connected with your sexual kinks and turn-ons?

At the vanilla end of that spectrum is probably something like licking whipped cream of a guy’s body – pretty much something that everyone could get on board with, unless you’re lactose-intolerant. 

Food often features in the sploshing or gunge kink scene – smearing something wet and sticky all over your body is slutty and horny. Do I want to watch you squishing custard donuts between your thighs? Absolutely.

At the more extreme end of the food-as-kink spectrum is where you’ll find feeders. It’s extreme in the sense that it’s perhaps the most difficult to unpack psychologically, but we’re going to give it a go.

What is a Feeder or Weight Gain Kink?

Whether you describe it as a kink or a sexual preference or fetish isn’t really important, but there’s a definitely sexual edge to this food-based power-dynamic.

A feeder kink is all about gaining weight – gorging on food in order to gain weight.

This can be a solo endeavour – you can be turned on by feeding yourself and watching yourself grow.

More commonly, it takes two to tango – a feeder and a feedee. The sexual arousal is in play for both parties – the feeder is turned on by helping their partner gain weight, and the feedee is turned on by gaining weight. Both of you are also turned on by the elements of domination and submission that characterise a feeder/feedee relationship.

Beyond that, there aren’t really any rules to how this kink operates on a day-to-day basis. For example, your boyfriend might be a horny skinny twink who strokes his own Hot Dog while you feed him a chorizo – you’re both getting turned-on by watching him gain weight, you’re both turned-on by the control you have over him.

Like many gay BDSM relationships, for those who are into a feeder kink, it’s all about control – but you don’t need bondage and gags, food is your weapon of choice.

What’s the appeal of a Feeder Kink?

If you’re drawn to the power dynamics of domination and submission, there’s a broad range of BDSM scenes that you could throw yourself into, so why would you be inclined to explore a feeder kink?

If you’re the feedee, you’re responding to being controlled, to being submissive. While lots of guys pursue gay submissive experiences in relationships or gay hookups, there is something liberating in having decisions about food taken out of your hands. It is a regression role-play to some extent – you’re a big baby who just eats whatever is served to you. You don’t need to worry about anything.

If you’re the feeder, there is a clear nurturing aspect to your power dynamic. You are taking care of your feeder. They rely on you, they depend on you, they need you. There is nothing more nurturing than food.

Is a Feeder Kink Dangerous or an Eating Disorder?

Physically, a feeder kink is only as dangerous as the participants allow it to be. Like all sexual encounters, informed, sober consent should be the foundation of a feeder/feedee dynamic. There should be a clear safe-word in place or some mechanism that keeps everyone on the same page.

Psychologically, it’s a bit more complicated. If your sexual arousal pushes you to eat yourself to obesity, your relationship with food is likely to be a little problematic. Conversely, if feeding someone is your sexual turn-on, where is your head at in terms of nutrition and healthy eating?

Ultimately, these are two adults consenting to explore a power dynamic that appeals to them both. We don’t kink-shame here.

Does a Feeder Kink Have to Translate Into a Force Feeding Kink?

Force-feeding does feature in some feeder/feedee relationships, but you can explore a feeder kink without using force-feeding.

It’s the two people involved in the relationship that set the boundaries and the rules of how the feeder kink is going to work – they’re the ones that have consented to it. If that includes force-feeding, then that’s what they’ve both signed up for.

If force-feeding wasn’t agreed upon then that’s an example of when the safe-word should be used so that the boundaries can be discussed and adjusted as required.

If discussion of boundaries isn’t possible then that isn’t a healthy BDSM relationship and the parties should go their separate ways.

How Do I Know If I Am Into a Gaining Kink?

If you’re asking the question then it’s a pretty good indication that there’s something about this kink that has got your attention.

Take some time to reflect on what aspects of the kink appeal to you. Do you visualise yourself as dominant and taking control and feeding someone, or do you visualise yourself as submissive and wanting someone to feed you?

Put the technology to work and use a hook-up app like Squirt to let guys know what you’re looking for. Make it clear in your bio what role you’re looking to explore. It’s okay to be upfront that you’re new to the kink but interested in exploring – don’t pretend to be someone that you’re not.

If this is a kink that you’ve got some experience in, slide into our DMs and share your insights. We don’t kink-shame here.

West Hollywood is the land of the free, home of the gays, and quite possibly the only zip code in the US where you can order a Hailey Bieber smoothie, get rimmed in a public park, and still make it to drag brunch by noon.

This city isn’t just a place, it’s a vibe. While outsiders think Weho is all reality stars, drag queens, and overpriced cocktails, those of us who live and thrive here know the truth; beneath the rhinestones and circuit parties lies a rich blend of community and, well, some of the best damn cruising in the country.

Let’s not play coy, being gay in West Hollywood is hot like “shirtless waiting in line for coffee”-hot. The entire neighborhood is a buffet of beautiful men with bodies so sculpted you’d think John Reed (gym in Weho) was running a “clone a gay BOGO”. 

While the gym is cute and the bars are fun, the real WeHo action happens after dark or frankly, anytime, anywhere with a bit of help from our local hero, Squirt.org.

If you’re not on Squirt, get on it. It’s like Grindr’s older, dirtier brother. The one who skips the small talk knows how to find a public cruising bathroom with a lock and has receipts. We’re talking cruising, reviews of popular hook-up spots, and real-time updates on who’s lurking in the Pavilions parking lot. 

Spoiler Alert! It’s probably someone you’ve already hooked up with…

How Can Gay Hookup App Squirt Help Me Gay Cruise in West Hollywood?

In West Hollywood, cruising isn’t just a hobby; it’s practically a sport. There are the classic spots like the Racquetball wall at Poinsettia Park, the shadows behind Plummer Park’s community center, or the delightfully discreet bushes behind OutOfTheCloset on Santa Monica. 

Don’t act surprised… you’ve walked by and felt the energy, or at least seen the exposed cocks.

Squirt.org acts like your gay GPS. Not only can you see where the action is happening, but you can read reviews of a local gay cruising or hookup spot like:

“Tall Latin daddy with a monster cock showed up in hotel slippers and changed my life.”

or,

“Hit or miss, but got head in the men’s room while waiting for my venti iced chai latte. 4 stars.”

The beauty of cruising in Weho is its spontaneity. You could be going on a walk, wearing a tank top that says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum,” when you lock eyes with a stranger in the parking lot. 

Thirty seconds later, you’re in the backseat of a car, and fifteen minutes later, you’re back on the sidewalk like nothing ever happened. Nobody bats an eye. This is Weho, babe. We’ve seen worse in the line for the bathrooms at The Abbey.

Are Gay Bars and Gay Cruising Bars Good to Find Sex?

Bars here aren’t just for drinking, they’re for scoping out too. That moment when you bump into a guy at Mickys, realize you matched on Squirt last week, and suddenly it’s like you’re in a very horny version of Love Is Blind. Except you can see each other… and you both lied about being verse…

Hooking up in Weho is easy because everyone’s down. There’s no shame. No need for “what are you into?” small talk. It’s a swipe, a nod, a “sup, you hosting?” and boom, you’re inside each other by the time you finally select a movie on Netflix.

The best part? Everyone knows the code or cruising language. From the way someone stands against a tree in a park, to a bathroom door left just slightly ajar, WeHo men speak fluent cruise. 

Here’s the thing, beneath all the filthy fun, Weho is still home. It’s the bartender who remembers your name and your go-to drink. It’s the group of gays who gather every Sunday for brunch and walk each other home when one gets too messy. It’s the HIV testing van parked outside HiTops every weekend because we look out for each other, even while we’re inside each other.

There’s an undeniable sense of chosen family here. Yes, people are horny, but they’re also supportive and protective of their own. 

You can spend the morning getting railed in a steam room and the afternoon helping a friend plan a fundraiser for queer homeless community members. That’s the duality of Weho. It’s a city that lets you be slutted out but worshipping at church the next day. Where you can bare your hole and your soul. 

Where Squirt.org connects you to anonymous fun, it also occasionally leads you to your new best friend… or at least someone who gives great head and even better movie recommendations.

Being gay in West Hollywood is like being in a never-ending Pride parade where everyone’s a little bit horny and always just a tap away from a quickie. 

So, toggle Squirt, it is entirely free to sign up. Keep your lips moisturized, your browser in private mode, and your location on, because in Weho, you never know if your next hookup is in a stall, a sauna, or sitting right across from you at brunch, giving you the ‘eyes’. 

Good luck out there, sexy.