If you’re trying to avoid the “party and play” scene, you might have identified hook-up apps as one of your triggers.

While deleting all the apps might be a good strategy to help you avoid the temptation of chemsex, it can make it difficult to connect with other guys. If you’re missing the intimacy that you used to find at house-parties and chill-out sessions, a sense of loneliness and isolation could contribute to a relapse and then you’re back where you started.

Obviously, you’ve got to navigate your own path as you try and minimise the harm associated with chemsex – you’ve got to figure out what works for you – but you may find these tips useful if you’re wondering how to use hook-up apps to connect with guys while avoiding the drugs.

What is chemsex?

Chemsex is where you use drugs to enhance your sexual experience. You might refer to it as PnP (party and play) or HnH (high and horny). The technical term is Sexualised Drug Use.

The drugs involved are usually methamphetamine, mephedrone, or  GHB/GBL. These are drugs that fire up your libido, they help you lose your inhibitions, and they make you feel that you can have sex like a porn star.

The downsides of chemsex can include an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections, as well as wide-ranging health and social impacts. The drugs involved in Chemsex are highly addictive, and their use can sometimes lead to an endless chase of the next high and an unquenchable thirst for even more intense sexual satisfaction.

While the connection between drugs and sex is nothing new, the experience of chemsex seems to be a bit of a perfect storm – particularly for men who have sex with me.

In simple terms, the drugs are highly addictive, the drugs help us overcome our shame and internalised homophobia, the drugs help us experience intense sexual pleasure, and hook-up apps facilitate drug-fuelled encounters. At first, it feels amazing, but your life can quickly spiral out of control and suddenly everything is falling apart.

It’s not a straightforward addiction problem. It’s a complex combination of factors at play that means that traditional abstinence treatments and sobriety programmes are unlikely to be effective.

Is everyone having chemsex?

Initially, the experience of chemsex seemed to be confined to major metropolitan centres. But these days, wherever you are in the world, chems are probably going to feel a bit ubiquitous as you navigate your search for intimacy.

One of the interesting things about chemsex is that this is generally something that happens in private spaces, behind closed doors. Guys are taking these drugs either in their own home or at a private party or hook-up in someone else’s home.

Anecdotal evidence from healthcare specialists suggests that the lockdowns associated with the Covid-19 pandemic turbo-charged the interdependency between hook-ups, house-parties and chemsex.

How to search for sober sex

As you’re putting the technology to work and scanning your hook-up app to see if any guys nearby catch your attention, there’s a couple of obvious red-flags you should be steering clear of in your online search.

Hook-up apps do their best not to facilitate the promotion of drug-use, but if a guy has “PnP” or “HnH” somewhere in their bio – you know what they’re looking for.

The diamond emoji is frequently used to suggest the use of crystal meth, so that’s a bit of a giveaway. You’ll probably also want to avoid anyone who is talking about getting together to “party” or inviting a group of guys over for a “session” or to “chill”.

As well as doing your best to avoid any possible triggers or temptations, you can also be proactive – make it clear that you’re looking for sober sex, that you are actively avoiding drug-fuelled hook-ups.

You can do this by putting something in your bio on the app. Obviously, not everyone reads what’s in your bio so it’s a good idea to also be really upfront with it when you’re initiating a chat or responding to someone’s DM. “I’m looking for sober sex” dropped in early to a conversation clearly sets the tone and makes it clear what your boundaries are.

Did you consent to that?

One of the problematic aspects of having drug-fuelled sexual encounters – or being at a private party where the drugs are flowing and everyone is getting a bit loose – is that boundaries and judgement all tend to become a bit blurred.

Most guys who have used chems are likely to have incomplete memories of exactly what went down once the drugs came out.

If you are high on drugs that enable you to lose your inhibitions, how does that impact your ability to consent to who you have sex with and how you have sex with them? What responsibilities do we have to the men that we are sharing our chemsex encounters with? If you’re at a private chemsex party, what are the rules when it comes to consent?

We hear a lot of stories of people being filmed without realising that a camera was being pointed at them. Guys are being sexually assaulted but are reluctant to report the incident to the police because there were drugs involved. A come-down can leave us with a sickening feeling that we’ve probably done something we’re going to regret.

Do you need help to get your use of chems under control?

If you or someone you know is finding it difficult to manage their chemsex encounters, try to speak to drug and alcohol specialists who understand what chemsex is and the complexity involved.

Your local sexual health service will probably be able to refer you to an appropriate specialist, or search online for support services designed for men who are grappling with Chemsex issues.

Squirt member phil9325, our certified travelling slut, is our regular trip advisor on slutty destinations. This year, he has taken us to New York City, Palm Springs, and Berlin for Easter. Now, he is taking us across the pond to get lucky with the Irish by going to Dublin.

Hello, hello, my fellow travelling sluts! Things have been a bit static, but I have not forgotten about y’all. This time, I decided to cross the pond and see if you can actually get lucky in Ireland by visiting the capital, Dublin.

Find a four-leaf clover and let’s see if this guide to Dublin leads a hung, horny daddy to your pot of gold! 

When To Visit Dublin?

As Dublin is on an island, do not expect the weather to be a sunny destination to go live la vida loca. 

Instead, expect some winds, rain and sun. That said, summer would be your best bet to visit. If you are coming from North America, the flight is relatively short, and you can spend a weekend exploring everything the city has to offer. Being a small country, all you need is a weekend to get the whole gay experience. 

If you’re looking to do some touristy things beyond the gay tour, I would recommend visiting the Guinness Storehouse and the Cliffs of Moher. They are worth the hype, and you should definitely add them to your day itinerary while you rest your eager hole and throat for the night.

What Are Some Clubs And Bars I Can Visit?

For the size of the city, Dublin is full of different kinds of gay bars to spend your night. 

Sadly, however, no bars have dark rooms, so the only places to get pounded are your hotel or the sauna (which we’ll talk about later).

To start your night, head to Pantibar for the best music and cheap drinks combo. You will find a huge gay crowd here with two floors to get your night started. 

The top floor is the bar and dance floor, which gets packed very early. I recommend bringing earplugs because the volume here is loud. If you want a more relaxed atmosphere to start, you can head to the basement, where you will find tables and couches. Here is where people go to socialize or make out, whatever you feel like doing with the sexy boys you see.

After you get your groove on here, head down the bridge, and your next stop will be Street 66. 

This bar is more chill and “quieter” than Pantibar, so if you feel like chit-chatting and a more relaxed dance atmosphere, this is the place for you. 

The reason this should be your second stop, rather than your first, is that it’s located right downtown next to all the other bars. Pantibar is out of the way, making it more challenging to go back and forth between it and the different locations. That said, both offer you a great gay vibe to meet locals and to see where the night takes you.

If you prefer drag and Top 40 music, I recommend you head down the street to The George. This place always has a line, so be there early to avoid waiting. Inside, you can expect a mixed crowd of straight girls, gays and everyone in between. 

The bar is big, so there is something for everyone there, but don’t expect sexy shirtless daddies dancing around.

Now, if you are going out on a Saturday, you have to check out their weekly queer rave called Mother at Lost Lane. 

The club where it happens doesn’t open until 11, so you have time to check out the spots I mentioned above. 

If you arrive before 11:30, the cover is only €8. Once inside, you have three floors to get lost among sexy shirtless men. I will say that drinks here are a bit more pricey, so try to get your buzz on before, so your night is not so expensive.

Mother has a mixture of music between dark techno, EDM and top 40 (offering you two different dancefloors for each style). On top of that, they have two outdoor patios. 

We arrived early to check out the venue, but it didn’t take long for it to get busy and steamy. Within the first hour, I spotted some hotties and made a move to make out with them… and trust, the Irish know how to kiss. 

My night continued like a game of musical chairs, but with boys. The space is so big that, despite getting busy, it never felt too crowded to move around. Since there wasn’t a dark room, my best bet was to find some boys to take me to the gay sauna, and luckily, I succeeded in finding two.

We ventured out of the venue and walked a few blocks to Boiler House, the only sauna in Dublin. 

Although a little old, the place is enormous, with two floors where you can get rowdy with the boys you pick up from the bar. 

Here, we all stripped and went directly to the sling area to get into some flip fucking. It didn’t take long for some of the other gays who were at Mother (and the other bars) to start showing up here. Let’s just say the sling area became very popular that night with me and these two other gays taking centre stage. 

After a few cocks down my throat and hole, I decided to explore what else this venue had to offer. From an outdoor patio for smokers to a fully stacked bar, this place has everything you need to fulfill your horny, gay desires after a night of dancing. I ended my night here back on the sling to take the last few horny loads of the locals. 

With a hole full of cum, I completed my walk of fame back to the hotel, where I could feel some of the loads dripping down my leg. A very successful night for my pot of gold if you ask me.

So, Should I Visit Dublin?

If the Irish accent, beefy men, and beer are for kinks, then Dublin is the place for your next weekend escapade. Two days should be enough to do it all. Be sure to arrive on a Saturday so you can experience what Mother has to offer.

I will hop onto my next adventure and cock to bring you all of the juicy and horny details of gay cities around the world.

Until then and from the sturdiest sling, 

Phil XO

Twitter: Philduchampxxx1

Bluesky: Philduchampxxx.bsky.social