Expert tips on how to maximise your jack-off joy

Marc Peridis is the Orgasmic Shaman. During lock-down, Marc has been running online classes in masturbation – helping guys to unlock the power of their orgasm.

I caught up with Marc to see if I could improve my technique.

Given that most men figure out how to masturbate through trial and error, is it likely that we’re learning bad techniques?

Not necessarily bad techniques, but it’s what I call pattern masturbation. What we’re doing is generally very restricted and very limited.

We tend to learn masturbation from an older brother, from friends, or by watching porn. I remember being nine or ten, watching porn and being scared and nervous – trying to get it done without being caught by my parents. I did get caught. Learning about masturbation in that way involves a lot of compression and tension.

Our masturbation experience tends to be very localised – generally just around the penis, sometimes around the anus, sometimes we touch our nipples.

Most of us masturbate while watching porn. Our eyes are looking ahead – at a screen or a phone or a device. It’s all very linear and it’s all very localised. That means we’re not very engaged at an integrated level – we’re not engaging the different parts of our body.

This kind of localised and limited and compressed masturbation has a localised effect on the brain. We develop a dependence on instant gratification. We want gratification now, and we want gratification in a very specific way.

To move beyond pattern masturbation, we need to retrain ourselves in how we jerk-off. The best way to do that is to integrate the full-body experience. Some people describe this as a full-body orgasm. We’re harnessing all of the energy of our body and unlocking our highest potential.

Masturbation isn’t something we often get to talk about with other guys – it’s generally a bit of a taboo topic. What generally leads guys to trying one of your masturbation sessions?

The current lock-down situation has meant that we’re all masturbating a lot, so that has put some focus on it. But it’s part of a general trend of guys wanting to get more out of their masturbation time.

For thousands of years, we’ve been taught that masturbation was wrong and that sex was wrong. I think that we’re turning a page – we’re reversing the damage that has been done – we’re allowing ourselves to really enjoy and receive our pleasure, and also to channel it towards our personal growth and being the best version of ourselves.

We’re starting to realise the importance of self-pleasuring – in terms of us trying to be a whole being. As men, we need to become better lovers to ourselves so that we can become better lovers to other people. Being more at one with ourselves means that when we’re with someone else, we can be more present. That’s a better experience for everybody – it’s deeper, richer, and a more intense sexual experience.

My workshops aren’t just about getting your rocks off, it’s about spiritual growth in a really pleasurable way.

Are there any simple techniques that we’d all benefit from, or is everyone different?

The first step is to understand your body – to get to know yourself. What does my body feel like? How open is my body? How receptive is my body? Do I ejaculate quickly or does it take some time? Do I have a bigger cock or a smaller cock? Is my cock sensitive or not?

When I’m working with men, that’s always the first thing we do – slow down and let’s get to know our bodies. That’s when we realise that everybody’s body is completely different.

Looking at my body, I have a very sensitive penis. I don’t have the biggest penis in the world. I’m uncut. For a long time, I didn’t think that I’d be able to teach Tantra – I’d be in classes and I’d constantly have to tell people to slow down. I had to learn how to put those boundaries up and tell people that they had to be a bit more gentle with me because I have a particularly sensitive penis.

A good friend of mine in Los Angeles teaches masturbation techniques that are 100 percent cock-based – purely focused on cock-strokes and edging techniques. He’s a great guy and I definitely recommend his work, but it’s not something that I’m particularly interested in. I’m not particularly cock-focused – I really enjoy engaging with my entire body.

It’s good to explore different techniques and explore what different people can teach you, but you’ve got to make time to listen to your body.

The number one tip that I give to guys is that when you’re in the middle of jacking off, make the time to slow down, tune into your body and see what your body wants. Does your body want you to keep tugging and pulling on your cock, or does it want to be caressed on the chest? Does it want you to pinch yourself, or spank yourself? Do you need lube? Do you not need lube?

The sensations our body experiences when we’re jerking off are arrows speaking to us. Those arrows are the key to a better connection with other people. We have to keep going back and listening to our body.

There’s an obvious physical difference between guys that are circumcised and guys that aren’t. Do you have to tailor your sessions to allow for this difference or is it just a case of some guys needing more lubrication?

It’s really down to everybody experimenting with their own penis.

There are Tantra practitioners who are cock experts, but for me it’s just important to really listen to your cock, to really touch it, to experiment, and to play with different things.

Let your body tell you what it wants and what it likes. It could be that you need more lube, it could be that you need something else.

Sometimes, I like to masturbate without touching my cock for a very long time – it gets me very hard.

Get to know your cock. Have a dialogue with your cock. Engage with your cock. Love your cock.

How often should we be masturbating?

There’s not really any right or wrong answer to this. Once a day? Twice a day? What matters is building a practice that feeds you and nourishes you.

You need to be intuitive enough to know the difference between whether it’s nourishing you or taking you away from something else that you should be doing. If you’re spending so much time using porn or masturbating that you’re not getting other things done or lacking sleep, then that might be a concern.

I’m definitely a fan of ejaculation. I like to ejaculate every day. But I’ve been in that situation where I’ve been using a lot of porn and masturbating a lot – my penis would hurt and I wouldn’t want to have sex with my partner. We’ve got to listen to our body.

I do believe that everyone should have a self-pleasuring session at least once a day. I’d suggest going for at least 40 minutes to an hour, at least once a day. Maybe not ejaculating every day – maybe holding it and ejaculating every second day – but that’s just personally what I believe should be a minimum.

For the guys that join one of your sessions, what’s the main thing that you want them to get out of the workshop?

I love it when people have an amazing experience. Where they feel that they connected to something greater – that they felt like they connected to a greater dimension or a parallel universe, or another state of being – where they realise that they’re more than they thought they were.

The main thing that I want guys to feel is that something has substantially changed in their life. Whether that’s the way that they see life, the way they see themselves, or the way they feel their power.

Simple pleasure is great, and owning your pleasure is great, but what I’m after is sustainable growth. When people start to get that, that makes me really fucking hard. When guys email me to tell me how my workshops have helped them make changes or see things differently, that makes me really fucking hard – I could blow my load reading those emails.

Find out more about the erotic essence workshops and Marc’s masturbation tips