Gay vs. straight: What’s a sexy man? (via SALON.com)

This article is an interesting (and fun) read with Tracy Clark-Flory (a straight woman) & Thomas Rogers (a gay man).
They go on about what they find sexy in a man. If you have straight girlfriends, you’ve probably had very similar discussions.
Here’s a taste:

SALON Article By Tracy Clark-Flory and Thomas Rogers

Thomas Rogers: I do think the cliche of the gay male being very interested in the superficial elements of male sexiness is changing, actually. The rise of bear culture (and its hilarious offshoot of otter culture) has helped to splinter standards of attractiveness in the gay world in some really interesting ways. You know, I always feel like I’m writing about generational change and gay culture, but I do think there’s something interesting that’s happening right now. The aesthetic among the younger gay crowd, the people I know who live in the alternative gay ghettos in New York or Toronto or elsewhere, tend to be a lot scruffier, a lot “bearier” than the people you’ve described (and generally more toward many of the people you see on this list). The overall aesthetic still seems to be a bit more pronounced and artificial than among straight men — the haircuts a bit more extreme, or the beards a bit more trimmed, or the arms are a bit more worked out — but not that much. So we might be seeing a bit of a shift there.

One of my early suggestions, which was promptly shot down, was Damian Abraham, the lead singer of the hardcore band Fucked Up. Abraham, I had thought, would have a number of things going for him. For one, he’s in one of the buzziest bands of 2011. And he’s also a pretty awesome guy — when they won a massive Canadian music prize in 2009, for example, he gave the money to a charity for aboriginal women, and he’s done literacy work. And yet, he didn’t get any love from straight lady folk. I wonder if it’s because Abraham is, by all accounts, a “bear” — a large hirsute man. In the course of my life, I’ve gravitated a lot more toward bear and otter culture (otters are basically skinny, furry gay men) than toward the mainstream Chelsea aesthetic, so my love of Abraham might have to do with the fact that he’s really the opposite of the muscle queen. (I should point out that I was definitely on Team Galifianakis back in 2010.)

Tracy Clark-Flory: There are certain bear qualities that I find irresistible — like body hair, stoutness and the general air of rugged masculinity. I’m especially partial to “muscle bears” (see: Brian “The Beard” Wilson, my choice for last year’s list). But Abraham doesn’t do anything for me and I will admit that it’s largely due to the belly. That’s not to say that I haven’t been attracted to larger men before — after being charmed by their dazzling intellect, sense of humor or what have you — but on a strictly superficial level, no. (I will also add that what I have heard of Abraham’s musical stylings has not swayed my initial superficial response.)

Like you say, this may be a factor of being immersed in straight culture. The only times I’ve been exposed to big-bellied men in a sexual context has been in straight porn where the “dirty old man” factor is played up. The erotic charge of the scene is designed to come from the humiliation of the attractive girl being taken by the disgusting man — that whole genre is like a porno remake of “Beauty and the Beast.” And, in general, representations of heftier guys in the hetero world tend to be limited to unflattering stereotypes of laziness, weakness and small penises. It’s awful, but that’s our cultural climate and I’m certainly a product of it.

Read The Full Article HERE!