How to Be a Gay Top: Bonafide Tips for Anal Domination

Whether you want to be a gay vers pro, or you’re a gay power-bottom who wants to see the other side of things, topping a hot gay date doesn’t have to be rocket science – you just need some willingness to take your red rocket to new terrains.

In this article, we discuss some helpful tips for when you’re topping for the first time. We’ll also look at how you can be a better top when you’re worshipping the hole of a seasoned power-bottom.

How to Top When Gay

For many guys, butt sex is one of the best bits about man-on-man action or a gay anal hookup. When we’re talking about sex, we often use the short-hand terminology of Top and Bottom to clarify who’s doing what to whom, or what we’re feeling like in the moment.

These aren’t binary identities. You might get some guys who describe themselves as “exclusively Top” or “exclusively Bottom”, but you’ll have better sex if you’re open to pleasure from all angles. You really need to have skills that you can adapt to whatever the situation requires.

Sure, you might have a preference. But the more you can understand about how to give and receive pleasure, the more fun you’ll have.

Today, we’re focusing on how to Top another guy. If you’re the Top, that means that you’re pushing your cock into the other guy’s ass. The guy that’s taking your cock is the Bottom.

But there’s more to Topping than just getting hard and sticking it in. Let’s get into it.

Foreplay and Lube!

Foreplay and lube are two essential ingredients for great anal sex.

The objective of both is to make sure that your Bottom is relaxed, receptive, and ready to take your cock up their ass.

Go for a good quality lube and use lots of it. There’s lots of different types of lube out there – experiment and find one that works best for you. Talk about it with your Bottom – they might have a preference. Great lube means great sex.

From a foreplay perspective, your focus – as the Top – should be on your Bottom’s ass. Using your fingers is fine, but you really need to put your mouth to work. You need to be rimming your Bottom’s ass until he’s begging for you to fuck him.

Rimming isn’t just licking his fuck-hole. You want to bring variety to your rimming technique – kiss, spit, bite, chew – work his hole from every angle and get that tongue in deep.

Listen to Your Partner

Communication is really important. Listen for verbal cues and look for visual cues.

At the beginning, your questions might be along the lines of – “Is this okay?” “Does that feel good?”

As your encounter progresses, you might be looking for indicators on how rough you should be – “Like that?” “Harder?”

Equally important is checking in to make sure that you’re both in the same head-space – “Need some more lube?” “Want some water?” “Want to take a break?”

How to Accommodate a Gay Power Bottom

Hooking up with a guy who describes himself as a power-bottom can be a bit intimidating. Often, the temptation is just to try and fuck him really hard – pound him relentlessly like a fuck-machine.

While some guys are into that, and most guys will enjoy a bit of that at some stage, even a power-bottom is going to want some variety from you.

You always want to start off fairly slow. You need to make sure that your Bottom’s sphincter is relaxed and accommodating before attempting anything too intense. The more relaxed your Bottom’s butt gets, the more options that you’ll both have.

Lots of communication is good at this stage. You’ll have a sense of how your Bottom’s body is responding, but listen to his verbal cues – he’ll let you know when he’s ready for more.

Don’t Just Stand There

Just because you’re the Top doesn’t mean that you have to do all the work. You can expect your Bottom to be actively moving into different positions. But you do need to take charge.

Don’t be a passive top. You’re the one delivering the dick-down. Your Bottom is going to want to feel your power and your presence. Spit in his face, slap his ass, and let him feel every inch of you.

Talk Dirty

A bit of filthy talk during sex can be a great way to turn up the heat and make sure that you’re both on the same page.

But it’s probably best to start mild and then crank up the raunch if you see that it’s getting a positive response.

Even if you feel that your pre-hookup chat has set the tone, just because your Bottom DMd you that he wants you to ruin his cunt doesn’t necessarily mean that you open with that as soon as you get down to business. Online conversations are different from real-life conversations.

It’s also important not to impose your fantasies onto your Bottom. It might turn you on to talk filthy about how stretched and loose your Bottom’s fuck-hole is, but that could be perceived as a negative comment or a form of slut-shaming.

Take your cues from what your Bottom is saying. If he’s calling his but tight, go with that. If he’s calling it loose, go with that. Language matters.

Accommodate His Angles

To be a good Top, it helps to have at least a basic understanding of the male body. Anatomy diagrams are a good starting point to understand how everything fits together, but the important thing to remember is that we’re all built slightly differently and so our ass play might need to be adapted or adjusted.

When you’re Topping, it’s a good idea to be thinking about your Bottom’s prostate. This is a major pleasure spot. One of your primary goals when you’re Topping is to try and stimulate your Bottom’s prostate.

Being able to hit the prostate as you fuck your cock into him is one of the reasons that it’s a good idea to experiment with different positions.

Remember, regularly asking: “Does that feel good?” can ensure that you’re both getting what you want out of this encounter and you’ll quickly get a reputation as Top of the Tops.