Meet The World’s Champion Masturbator! (via Dlisted)

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DListed:

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Hit pause on your Anal Assault 19 clip, put down your Jergen’s, and pull up your drawers. Masanobu Sato has got this. He’s been declared the World’s Champion Masturbator! He’s even got a trophy that should totally be a bronze casting of a crumpled tissue but isn’t. For you horny bitches who worry that your measly three shots a day in the stall at work might constitute a chronic masturbation problem which is going to get your ass fired when you’re found out, think again. According to Kotaku, Sato’s record is 9 HOURS AND 59 MINUTES.

Sato has a live-in girlfriend (!!!) who he doesn’t have sex with because she’s busy making dresses and timing his efforts. And weeping. Once you watch the vid, you’ll note that their apartment is tiny. She must have an umbrella on standby due to his preference for porn. Yes, The World’s Champion Masturbator has some hang-ups about sex with live girls. He doesn’t even wank to live-action porn. He fucks his fist to hentai because girls are “dirty” and they “smell”.

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23 COMMENTS

  1. One has to wonder what the live-in “dirty, smelly” girlfriend is getting out of all this. She seems nice enough. She can certainly do better than this clown. Being the world’s champion masturbator must come with a nice stipend, as he doesn’t seem to have to work for a living.

    “9 hours and 59 minutes”?!? After all that time, he couldn’t hold out for another 60 seconds? Was he afraid of appearing too confident?

  2. I don’t get it.. do you get the title for going the longest without cumming or is it about cumming the quickest?? Her parents must be so proud of her choice of soulmate. I think the cat should be taken into care.

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