Chemsex has been big news within the world of gay men for several years now. Chemsex is often referred to as Party-and-Play, or simply PNP.
In simple terms, Chemsex is using drugs to enhance your sexual experience. It’s the opposite of sober sex. The drugs involved are usually methamphetamine, mephedrone, or GHB/GBL. These are drugs that make you horny, they help you lose your inhibitions, and they let you feel like you can have sex like a porn star.
The downsides of Chemsex can include an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections, as well as wide-ranging health and social impacts. The drugs involved in Chemsex are highly addictive, and their use can sometimes lead to an endless chase of the next high and an unquenchable thirst for even more intense sexual satisfaction.
Is Chemsex unique to gay men?
Writing in Drugs and Alcohol Today, health expert David Stuart explains that while the connection between drugs and alcohol and sex is nothing new, what makes Chemsex something that is unique to gay men is the cultural factors that impact the enjoyment of gay sex. Examples of these factors include:
- – Societal attitudes of homosexuality – particularly the ones that manifest as a disgust of the gay sex act.
- – Cultural and religious attitudes to homosexuality.
- – The trauma and stigma of the AIDS epidemic.
- – The technological/sexual revolution that occurred with the arrival of hook-up apps and smartphone technology.
- – A gay-specific rejection culture born of hook-up apps associated with gay tribes, body shape and fitness, race, sexual performance expectations, plus an ability to “market” oneself in order to be successful within that culture.
- – From all of the above, can be derived a concept of risk and danger associated with gay sex.
In Stuart’s clinical experience, he’s found that Chemsex isn’t always a problem, but when it is, that problem is most often the ability to feel free and disinhibited during gay sex. Additional problems can emerge and result from the use of the drugs independently – which can be managed often by harm reduction practices – but the reasons for using the drugs are the pursuit of pleasure, which can often be difficult or challenging for gay men, many of whom struggle to achieve disinhibition from cultural obstacles that can make the enjoyment of gay sex, quite complicated. Chemsex isn’t just about the drugs, Chemsex is a sexual phenomenon fuelled by the highs and lows of the gay experience.
The 2017 survey
Back in 2017, we conducted a survey of over 22,000 Squirt.org members, to ask about their experience with Chemsex. What this showed us is that Chemsex is something that most gay men are encountering at some point in their hook-ups.
One of the interesting things about Chemsex is that this is generally something that happens in private spaces, behind closed doors. In our 2017 survey, guys reported that Chemsex was generally something that happened either in their own home or at a private party in someone else’s home.
A key driver of the geography of Chemsex is the way that guys use technology and hook-up apps to connect with each other. If you’re looking for sex, you no longer have to go to public spaces or cruising spots. That search can be done online, and a private party can be organised quickly and efficiently.
The consent question
One of the problematic aspects of having drug-fuelled sexual encounters – or being at a private party where the drugs are out and everyone is getting a bit loose – is that boundaries and judgement all tend to get a bit blurred.
In our 2017 survey, we asked respondents how much they remember after a Chemsex session. The majority of respondents felt fairly confident that they remember everything, but there was also a considerable number of guys who admitted to having incomplete memories of what went down.
Presenting the results of the study that was published in the British Medical Journal, researchers Ward, McQuillan, and Evans reported that 42.9% of Chemsex users in their study reported non-consensual sex.
If you are high on drugs that enable you to lose your inhibitions, how does that impact your ability to consent to who you have sex with and how you have sex with them? What responsibilities do we have to the men that we are sharing our Chemsex encounters with? If you’re at a private Chemsex party, what are the rules when it comes to consent?
Need some help with Chemsex?
If you or someone you know if finding it difficult to manage their Chemsex encounters, try and speak to drug and alcohol specialists who understand what Chemsex is and the complexity involved. Your local sexual health service will probably be able to refer you to an appropriate specialist, or search online for support services designed for gay men grappling with Chemsex issues.
I think I will stick with the 23% of the population who like to use my cock.
“The downsides of Chemsex can include an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections, as well as wide-ranging health and social impacts” …. noooo thanks! I have always attempted to keep my wits about me, sorry but I do not wish to be on meds for contracting HIV or whatnot, things that are easily avoidable! I take care of myself, eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, don’t smoke and drink very little, oh and no drugs! The consequences are tooo severe for living a stupid risky lifestyle!
Great post Gareth!
Always good to put information out there. Too often, there’s an assumption that everybody know everything. The prevalence of that attitude, especially in larger gay centres, prevents people from asking important questions.
Thanks, hrychstlvr69 – appreciate the feedback! Gareth.
This is a good topic to bring up. I have been on drugs–usually pot–when having sex, but have never taken anything, legal or not, specifically to enhance the experience. I wouldn’t want to give over my freewill, nor would I take anything addictive. (And no, pot is not addictive. I did it for years, then stopped with no problem. I do think it should be legal and regulated. It’s only a matter of time before all 50 states realize the revenues to be gained from the taxes on pot.)
Thanks for posting this, as living in the countryside I’ve never been sure what most of those terms referred to and now I know. I have twice run into people high on chems , one was an amazing looking muscle stud who just wanted to be barebacked by a succession of guys coming to his appartment. I put on a condom which he didn’t like so I left. The second guy was a chef who took some substance or other in my kitchen and became frighteningly paranoid, flattening himself against the wall if I so much as moved. It took me an hour to get him out of my house and I was on the point of calling the police for help as he was so deranged. The upshot is that I am happy to be in the 23% and would never take any of that shit now I have seen the effects at close quarters.
Great topic and well presented.
Providing information definitely helps to inform and allow people to plan in making choices.
I’m going to also state that I’m not so happy with judgement imposed in comments — it defeats the purpose. I prefer to use this information to help as well as to protect myself. I don’t know everyones situation, but do know judging them is not helpful.
Great topic, and needed more often. Poppers are so damn detrimental to ones health in many ways, besides just becoming a slut, that I’ve now avoided them. 420 isn’t q
Good sex is so great it doesn’t need anything else to enhance it.
Are you including 420 and poppers in chemsex now?
And if so, then exclude alcohol?
pot/marijuana not addictive? not correct … a drug information site cites studies that show that one in eleven marijuana users will become addicted and that teens who start on dope have a one in six chance of getting addicted … plus there is the link between using marijuana and going onto harder more addictive stuff, and between marijuana use and the risk of psychosis and the risk of schizophrenia in genetically susceptible individuals …
Oh, please. Pot is no more addictive than tobacco and many tobacco users with whom I’m familiar CANNOT go more than a couple of hours (at most) without their “fix” and if they do miss it, they start experiencing signs that are similar to those of full-on withdrawal. And, a lot of tobacco users routinely partake of other drugs (notably alcohol but caffeine’s also a drug).
Those “studies” you mention are rarely, if ever, truly neutral; they’re done by groups who deliberately manipulate the findings to ensure their preconceived idea that pot’s bad. As for that last bit about “marijuana use and the risk of psychosis and the risk of schizophrenia,” that is so preposterous. ANY individual who’s “genetically susceptible” for schizophrenia will develop it REGARDLESS of their use of any kind of drug and any studies which try to “link” the two concepts is obviously from the same “science” that anti-vaxxers use to back up their claims of autism being the result of vaccinations (they, of course, completely ignore the fact that autism existed long before widespread vaccinations but the condition was poorly understood; as science has come to better understand autism–which happens to coincide with the era that vaccinations became so widespread–then doctors are better able to recognize the signs in people who 50 years ago might have gone undiagnosed).
The simple reality is that people can become addicted to pretty much anything and NO addiction (whether to heroin or coffee or tobacco or sex) should be dismissed by laypeople who rely on “studies” which they don’t actually READ and UNDERSTAND, preferring instead to let other “experts” tell them what those studies have said.
thank you for posting this, I will continue to pass on Chem-sex……
Good to know the info. Confident in saying it’ll never be for me.
Never had chemsex
The sex is amazing
I do chemsex and I’ve always practiced safe sex, i go to a spa etc.his Dick feels better, I’m more open to positions and role play and coming down with a naked body in your bed is soooo much better ?? ????