Using words like “faggot,” “dyke,” and “tranny” to define oneself and other members of the LGBT community has long been a contentious topic.
While some maintain that the words should be avoided at all costs because of how stigmatizing and demoralizing they can be, others believe that the words lose their negative associations and become empowering when they are reclaimed by LGBT people.
In the first installment of our Change My Mind debate series, we challenge two members of the LGBT community to defend their views on the controversial issue.
Speaking against the use of words like “faggot,” “dyke,” and “tranny,” is Mara Keisling, the founding Executive Director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. Keisling has received numerous awards from PFLAG, the Equality Forum, GayLaw, the Transgender Law Center, the Harvard Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Supporters Alliance and Out for Work, among others, and is a frequent speaker at events, colleges, and government agencies.
“Words like “tranny,” “faggot,” “dyke,” “illegal,” “retard,” and “lame” are often used to stereotype and marginalize people. Some people who are the targets feel that they are hateful, cruel words. That’s enough for me.” – Keisling
Speaking in favor of using the words is Randall Jenson, the Executive Director of SocialScope Productions, a Chicago non-profit focused on LGBTQ and gender documentaries. Jenson created the “50Faggots” series, which documents the lives of self-identified effeminate gay men in the U.S. and has been a featured speaker at the National ACLU Membership Conference in Washington D.C., on The Oprah Show, and awarded the “Youth Impact Award” by the National Youth Advocacy Coalition.
“We are faggots. We are dykes. We are trannies. One of the most important things we can do is stop thinking of these as disgraceful and start thinking about how these words can encompass queer identities that orientation labels like “gay,” “lesbian,” and “transgender” can’t cover. ” – Jenson
CLICK HERE TO READ JENSON & KEISLING’S STATEMENTS and VOTE! Very interesting discussion.
NEVER DID LIKE THAT WORD OR THE ”N” WORD EITHER
It is the Kung Fu of name calling: You take the power of the aggressor’s weapon and by absorbing it, neutralize it or turn it against the source. “Cocksucker!” he screams from the window of a passing car: “All I can get!” I yell in reply with my arms spread wide.
I will grant you that it is easier for someone my age than a teenager to do. It takes a certain amount of acknowledging one’s self worth, and the certain knowledge that you can back your mouth up if the car suddenly stops and goes into reverse – but that is kind of the point.
Hide from the word and IT has the power. Claim the word and the power is your’s.
I guess I’m a total believer in my freedom of speech. I don’t care if someone wants to refer to me as “cracker” or “honky” as long as I can return the favor. Call me a “cocksucker” and I’ll say “Yep, I sure am.” There just seems to be too much of this political correctness for fear someone’s feelings are going to be hurt. Well,my freedom of speech trumps your itty bitty sense of correctness. Dutch
I have to say I too some degree with all three responses posted before mine. I think for LGBTs to hide from the word gives the power to those using it in a derogatory demeaning manor. The N word when used by an African American to describe himself be it in conversation or in the song lyrics is taking away the power of those that use it to try and belittle or name call. I think for those of us amoung the LGBT community that embrace who we are there is nothing wrong with calling ourselves ‘faggots”trannies’ or cocksuckers. Not everyone is comfortable with these self labels but for those of us that are we shouldnt be lectured by the self appointed ‘leaders’ in out community. To me this censorship by our own is just wrong.
Oh come on!!!!! I KNOW I’m a big Fag AND a cocksucker!!!!! Why don’t we make it incorrect to call each other sluts and whores, as well?!?
can words hurt? sure they can. But does that mean we stop using them? Where is the outrage of calling some guy a pussy because he can’t do something? that can be demeaning and hurtful as well.
My point it this – words suck, but guess what – find friends or people to talk to and learn to deal with them. Yes reclaiming is an excellent way to do it, yes a teenager may not be as well equipped to handle it as someone older. But in most cases teens have better access to things then i did growing up – so what if there isn’t a gay kid around, i’m sure you can find one on the internet to talk to. Heck the “it gets better” song uses the words that people say are hurtful to help point out that these things are labels and dont define you.
Being gay – for me – is not the end-all and be-all, i am much more than just a cock-sucker. People need to get over the idea that “we should never be hurt.” we grow though our experiences and not all of our experiences are positive.
To littleboiblu91’s point, yes – if you don’t like the label then stand up and tell people to stop calling you it, if you’re comfortable with the label, embrace it! and last time i checked there are no “leaders” of our “community” just people that like to talk loudly and think that what they have to say is more important than the rest of us.
Nice body.
The “names” are only descriptors to aid the ignorant in categorizing others. It is the categorizing and usage that are the problem: ie not recognizing people as individuals with unique qualities and value. And mostly it is the perception of the people being categorized. Each of us react differently. Thus it is probably the best course to simply not use terms or “names” that might be hurtful to others.
Any word is given its power by the person hearing it, not the speaker. If you let the word offend you, it becomes, offensive. If you don’t let it offend you, you take away the power of the word, and it becomes just a word. I feel that way about all of the “offensive” degrading” “stereotypical” words that have been, and still are used to try to belittle any individual or group of people. Call me what you will if that’s what you think of me, but I know who I am, and no one can take that from me or change my mind.
I think he should rethink that tattoo.
OH GOOD LORD…doesn’t anyone know anything about Queer Culture…that’s a picture of FAGGOT…he is a well known pin-up and model in the Rough God and Nasty Pig queer sub culture out of California…have we regressed to pre QUEER NATION days…trying to stop anyone from using what ever vernacular they want to use to describe themselves and the community they belong to is nothing more then Fascism…remember there are just as many subcultures with in the Queer Nation as there are Queer People…and if some namby pambe nelly wellie politico wants to quash my freedom of express…well this FAG will have none of it…the whole queer nation movement was about being IN YOUR FACE…i’m queer, I’m here and what the hell are you going to do about it…”
i can’t believe in this day and age…we still have to be in your face…or is this just and AMERICAN THING….
I agree that words are just words and that power exists only when people are willing to give it. If we stop reacting to certain terms of phrase people will no longer gravitate towards them. We decide what offends ourselves. The less you allow yourself to be offended by, the less power people have over your emotions. Take the power from the masses and redefine what is acceptable language. Anything can be offensive, it has more to do with the way things are said and by whom, than the words themselves.
Personally, I’ve always been of the mind that words are words, and the only way one should take offense to them is if the word is used in a way that is intended to offend.
I’d also add, since the word made an appearance here, (and since, as an Asperger’s I have a modicum of immunity) that I’ve never understood why people still get their panties in a bunch over ‘retard’. The word is now used only rarely in medical circles, even more rarely in layman’s terms, and as such, the definition that ties it to mentally handicapped/stunted/underdeveloped/alternatively arranged people has been severed, so there really is no reason to get pissed when someone uses the word in casual settings.
To paraphrase Victoria Wood, so long as I can continued to use the term wanker, I’m happy.
To me an offensive word is offensive, no matter who says it. I don’t “get” this reclaiming the word for ourselves business, how can an insult ever be ok provided it’s said by a certain group of people? Maybe there is a divide between the US & Europe, I don’t know, but in the UK many gay men are referred to as “pedo” short for paedophile, that is abhorrent and offensive to me. I have sex with men not children! By the logic of the above posters, if I’m called by that name by another gay man it makes it ok???? Hell no it bloody well doesn’t! Education in my eyes is the key to eradicate such name calling. When everyone finally realises that we are here as equals then such language will no longer be spoken and consigned to the history books.
But franx, being called a pedo accuses you of being something you aren’t. That’s what’s offensive.
Never had a problem being called these names from within the gay community. I actually like the terms and use them with friends and lovers
WORDS WORDS WORDS!
That’s all they are.
Not to disagree with Iff10, however, I think Iff10 has only half-of-the-whole. Yes part of the “conversation”/interaction/Word is how we hear and process the word/s used and determine it’s/their value. Though as importantly, if not more, is the the tone in which it is delivered to our ears. If we actively listen, I know it can be hard, we can hear the level of vehemence in which it is spoken, whether lovingly or hatefully, then process and decide whether it is offensive or applauding and how to react. I do agree Iff10 that being aware of One’s self and happy with it, is a a valuable metal to have in one’s armour.
As for you Mara Keisling, your grouping of the words ““tranny,” “faggot,” “dyke,””, with the words ““illegal,” “retard,” and “lame”” is a deplorable use of words, illuminating your own ignorance and weakness of your argument.
Evolve.
And Yes I describe myself as a “Poof” to those asking.
I agree with franx. There is no place for these words in anyone’s vocabulary. They are not “empowering,” and the rationale that they are or should be is nonsense, in my opinion — which I believe I am still entitled to.
So,your saying so hot dirty talk where your fucking your boyfriend and calling him a faggot doesn’t have a place? It’s about the context in which the words are spoken. We all have friends where we say mean things if people who weren’t in our circle. It’s about who is saying them and what the context of the words,not just the words themselves. You can call someone stupid and you can use that word to be mean or to poke fun of them. Does the word change or does the way you use it change the word? There are no absolutes in language,people should realize that,everything is always in shades of grey.
With all due respect, words are not just words. Many fine and wonderful gay people have died because the words “faggot,” “homo” and “dyke” did not have the same connotation to them as “dawn,” “miracle” and “love.” No matter how sweetly spoken or innocently intended, they hurt. You can argue all you want about how seizing a word and turning it back on itself thereby saps its power and lessens its hateful and derogatory impact, but history and humanity do not support that theory.
Take for example the “pink triangle,” which became an overused example of turning-hate-on-itself in the gay community a couple of decades ago. First used as a marker in Nazi death camps to identify homosexuals, the gay community sought to neutralize and repudiate that horror by adopting the symbol as one of empowerment and solidarity with those who suffered so horribly under Hitler’s regime. While it may have soothed some consciences, it did little to accomplish its goal. In fact, it has been my honor in this life to know some men who were forced to wear that symbol when their very lives were at stake. To a man, they could not understand why anyone would want to wear it now. They viewed the act of sticking pink triangles on everything from bumper stickers to T-shirts as ignorant and insensitive. And I certainly defer to their hard-earned wisdom.
In my opinion, the only way it makes sense for us gays to “embrace” words like “faggot” and “dyke” is if other people likewise embrace similar hurtful and disgusting words which have come to symbolize disrespect for their image, ethnicity, personality, intellect, etc.
When people who are obese embrace “fatty” and “porker”; when people who are of Italian descent embrace “wop,” “dago” and “guinea”; when Asians embrace “slope,” “gook” and “chink”; when Hispanics and Latinos embrace “wetback” and “spic”; when Blacks embrace “shiftless,” “lazy,” “negro” (and that other “n” word); when those living with Down Syndrome embrace “mongoloid”; when Britons embrace “limey” and the French embrace “frog”: etc. etc. etc., then gays might consider embracing the words which are equally hurtful, disrespectful and offensive, and which have no place in civil society.
That’s all different, you say? No, it isn’t. What’s different is an acquiescense and an apparent unwillingness on the part of those who favor “embracing” hateful words to stand up and say these words are not acceptable, period. Why should gays give in and say “gee, they’re just words — and if we make them ours, that’ll make it OK” when all of the other people and groups I’ve mentioned would not — and certainly should not — do the same?
In addition to standing up for our rights and ourselves, let’s also stand up and insist on decency and respect in ALL areas of our existence — important and seemingly trivial — from marriage to monikers. Some things are just not right, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise.
TRUNZO u took the words right out of my mouth i really think those that said to embrace all these words have never been on the receiving end of some of these hateful words..by saying that u embrace these hateful words only sends mixed messages to those who actually use these disrespectful and offensive words. Ur pretty much giving them permission to use them freely. So for those ppl who sd it is ok i have a question for u?? when u see ur black friend do u say “hey whats up N?” when u see ur Asian friend do u say “Hows it going gook?” and lastly when u see ur other gay friends do u address them as hey fag or hey dyke….i bet u dont!!! as TRUNZO sd to end off his comment we need to insist on decency and respect for ALL in ALL areas of existence & SOME THINGS ARE JUST NOT RIGHT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH U TRY TO JUSTIFY IT OR CONVINCE YOURSELF OTHERWISE!!! ask urself this at the end of the day would u teach a child to address ppl this way & embrace such hateful words?? if the answer is NO then why should we as adults do so..
if u embrace it u are not empowering the word ur ignoring the underlining issues..and if u ignore the underlining issues the the issues only get worse and becomes a big problem!! i wish people would get out of their bubble and back into the real world..im just wondering tho those first few comments whr do u guys live?? what planet? i would like to see u guys go out on the streets and address someone using the N word or gook or fag or spic and lets see if u dont get ur ass kicked…u need to embrace a gd ass wooping and wake the frack up