There’s nothing new about curious straight guys, right? If you’ve spent any time cruising, you’ll have come across your fair share of DL guys and dudes who just happen to be in the right place at the right time for a bit of no-questions-asked man-on-man action.
But if a curious straight guy slides into your DMs, it can be tricky terrain to navigate. Let’s get into it.
Why are straight men having gay sex?
While everyone likes the simplicity of a binary world, trying to label everything and confine ourselves to specific boxes of behaviour is very limiting and doesn’t recognise the complexity of our lives.
If someone tells you that they’re straight, don’t assume that it’s a label that totally defines them. There’s lots of grey areas and fluidity when it comes to sexuality. A guy might be into a bit of man-on-man action, but still identify as straight. That’s his business. He may still be working some stuff out, or he might just have a different understanding of sexuality and identity than you do. Not everyone plays by the same rules.
There’s lots of reasons why a straight dude could be up for some fun with another guy. They might get off on the masculine energy, it might just be convenient for them, or it’s something that they’ve seen in porn and felt like giving it a go. You don’t need to understand why a straight guy wants to have sex with you, you just need to be clear on whether or not you want to have sex with them.
What is homoflexible?
Homoflexibility refers to men who primarily identify as heterosexual but are open to exploring same-sex experiences or relationships to varying degrees. It’s a concept that blurs the lines between strictly gay or straight classifications.
For example, if a guy that identifies as straight is down for gay gym hookup, you could probably describe him as homoflexible. Of course, bisexual is another term that could be applied in this situation, but a guy that’s just dipping his toe into having sex with men may not be ready to embrace a bisexual identity.
When fucking straight guys, am I hooking up with bicurious men?
Bicurious is another helpfully vague term that you’ll often hear when talking about straight guys who have sex with men.
Straight guys that are open to exploring things sexually quickly realise that their butt is a major erogenous zone. Once you start to unlock the pleasure that your can experience through different parts of your body, your imagination kicks in – what would it be like to be fucked by another guy?
If we limit ourselves and we limit the sexual encounters that we allow ourselves to experience, then we’re potentially shutting ourselves off from a whole world of pleasure.
How Can I Have Sex with a Homoflexible Male?
If you’re scrolling through a gay hookup app or website and you’re chatting with a guy who identifies as straight but seems interested in getting naked with you, here’s some hints and tips to help you navigate the encounter.
Create a Risk-Free Environment to Sexually Explore
Chances are that this isn’t going to be the first bi-male sexual experience that your straight guy has pursued. Nevertheless, you’re probably going to need to demonstrate a bit of empathy and understanding if it feels like he’s giving you mixed signals or a bit of a chaotic energy.
You’re not there to pass judgement or to ask probing questions about his personal life or identity. You’re just two dudes, getting down to business. Just two guys with needs, helping each other out.
Take It Slow
It’s likely that you’re going to have way more experience than him when it comes to how gay sex goes down.
You’re going to need to be patient and let him set the pace.
Kissing might weird him out – try not to be offended by that.
I always find that offering to give a straight guy a massage is an easy starting point. Get him naked, get him on your bed, and get him used to you touching his body in a non-threatening way. You don’t have to be good at massage but a bit of enthusiasm goes a long way.
Don’t Expect Anything
You might be the kind of guy who doesn’t feel satisfied unless you’ve been stretched and pounded with some gay double penetration or flooded with the loads of a room full of anonymous fuck-buddies.
It’s important to be aware that your straight guy might be at the more vanilla end of the spectrum. He might be up for a mutual jack-off session and some light frottage. If that’s not going to cut it for you, then maybe this isn’t the hook-up that you’re looking for.
Ask Questions (If You Want To)
After you’ve both cum, it’s going to be tempting to try and debrief with your straight guy as to what went down. Did he enjoy it? Will there be repeat business?
The reality is that it might take him a while to process things. He may leave straight away without saying much, he might not return your messages, he may block you. It’s not personal – he’s a straight guy who’s figuring some stuff out. That’s what you’re signing up for – if that’s what you’re into.
No comments?….Anyone have anything to add???
It’s a well written and factual article, though I doubt if “homoflexible” is actually a word.
A question I’d like answered is, when is “curious” no longer “curious”?
Not all straight guys who have sex with guys are “curious”.
For me, the curious would probably go away when I’m totally comfortable with the guy I was fooling around with. To be honest, I’m not really attracted to men. I’m more attracted to their cock. I had a gay friend that I would get together with on a regular basis. He liked to front more than anything else, but I felt really comfortable with him and probably would have experimented further if he wanted. Sadly he moved away and I never got that chance.
Accurate stuff. Wish I’d of read this in my 20’s when starting out myself as one of the supposed straight guys. I’ve run the gamut. Happy busting but the aftermath can go any direction.