Squirt.org Readers Ask: Should I Invest in a Male Chastity Cage?

Male chastity cages used to be a bit of a niche within the world of gay BDSM, but it’s fair to say that they’ve now gone mainstream.

Does the idea of being locked up turn you on? Or maybe you’re just a bit curious as to what it might feel like. Let’s get our kink on and unlock the pleasure of chastity.

What is a chastity kink?

Whenever we’re talking about a turn-on that falls somewhere in the kink or fetish spectrum, it’s worth reminding ourselves of what these words mean.

In general terms, a kink is something that arouses you, turns you on, and can get you off, whereas a fetish is something that you need in order to be aroused, turned on, and to get off. These are terms that are often used interchangeably because the boundaries often blur.

In this article, we’re going to generally use the word “kink” because it’s the most inclusive for everyone, regardless of where you sit within gay BDSM culture.

While there are lots of variations in how a chastity kink can be explored and experienced, the basic concept is about control and denial.

The classic scenario is that the Dom locks the Sub’s cock in a chastity change – denying the Sub any access to penis-related pleasure. The Dom decides if and when the cage comes off, thereby ensuring that the Dom has control over when and how the Sub receives pleasure.

One common variation is when guys lock themselves into a cage – they become both Dom and Sub, although the psychology of that can get a bit confusing.

Why would partners be into a gay chastity kink?

If the concept of control in a Sub/Dom dynamic doesn’t automatically get your dick hard, think about the denial of pleasure aspect.

This doesn’t work for everyone, but lots of guys report that if they try and hold off from cumming for a few days, the release that they feel when they do eventually cum is pretty mind-blowing.

A cock-cage can be the tool that helps you achieve that enforced abstinence – denying yourself short-term pleasure so that you can experience maximum orgasmic energy.

Having someone else in charge of when your cock-cage is unlocked is why the control element of a Dom/Sub relationship has such appeal. If the intention is to deny yourself pleasure in the short-term, having someone else in control of when you finally get to take the cock-cage off and let your penis loose – that orgasmic release is extra intense.

We’re so used to having instant access to whatever we want, any form of delayed gratification is pretty powerful – particularly when someone else is holding the key.

The other potential benefit of wearing a cock-cage is that by taking your cock out of the pleasure equation, it heightens the pleasure that you feel in your butt. If you’re into gay ass play, you may find that everything feels more intense if all of the attention is focused on your butt.

What is a male chastity lock?

Whether they’re called a chastity lock, chastity device, or a cock-cage – this is the bit of equipment that goes over your cock and prevents you from getting hard and getting off.

They come in different designs but many are discreet enough that they can pretty much be worn underneath your regular clothes.

While some guys have a specific kink connected to the risk of getting caught, it’s just inherently sexy to know that you’re walking around the office with your cock locked in a chastity cage, while everyone at work is talking to you about spreadsheets and what they did at the weekend. What would they think if they knew what a horny pig you were?

The mainstreaming of the chastity kink means that we’re also seeing many gay Onlyfans performers incorporate chastity locks into their content – engaging with users about when they plan to unlock their cock, and reinforcing the trust that they are not going to cum until a particular goal, day, or maybe even follower count on their OnlyFans or socials is hit.

Crowdsourcing the control/denial element of the Dom/Sub dynamic is an interesting variation in the BDSM landscape that has really only been possible with the emergence of social media and fan-subscription platforms.

What should I look for in a gay male chastity lock?

This is a pretty intimate piece of equipment so you need something that is body-safe – which means avoiding low-quality options and going for something like stainless steel or silicone.

You also need a cock-cage that can be adjusted. While it is designed to constrain your cock, it shouldn’t be uncomfortable or painful to wear. It should fit snugly and securely. You’re going to be wearing this for numerous days continuously, so you need to ensure that you’re avoiding any chaffing or rubbing.

Remember, you need something that cleans easily in the shower while you’re wearing it. You’re going to be pissing through the cock-cage – it’s going to get sweaty and musky but you’re going to want to be able to keep clean and fresh without taking the cage off.

What type of lock features should I consider with a chastity lock?

The whole point of this kink is knowing that you can’t access your penis until the cock-cage is unlocked.

It completely undermines the whole scenario if you know that you can take it off without the key or somehow slide your cock out without unlocking it.

Some chastity devices include integrated time-locks which are designed to prevent the Sub from unlocking the cock-cage until the set time-period has elapsed. These time-locks can be digital, combination, app-controlled, or physical – such as mechanical timers similar to those used in kitchen timers.

Your Dom may want their Sub to wear a chain locked around their neck. This publicly signifies the control that the Sub has given their Dom. The Dom may choose to wear the key to the Sub’s cock-cage on a chain around their neck, symbolising their connection.

How do I put on a male chastity cage?

If you’ve just bought a new cock-cage, it’s really important to read the manufacturer’s instructions!

If you’re reusing a cock-cage, make sure that it’s clean and ready for use.

Most cock-cages come in multiple parts – a base ring, a cage, and a locking mechanism.

The general technique is to slide the base ring over your penis and behind your balls. It’s really important to fit the base ring snugly and securely but not too tight.

Next step is to fit the cage over the Sub’s soft cock – connecting it to the base ring.

The final step is to secure the lock – whether that’s with a padlock or an integrated locking mechanism.

Once the cock-cage is in place on the Sub, take some time to ensure that it’s comfortable to wear and not rubbing or chaffing while moving about.

Can I wash my cock while wearing a chastity lock?

Cock cages are designed for hygiene but it still takes a bit of getting used to.

A good starting point is to have an antibacterial soap that is sensitive to skin but also gives you plenty of lather.

Once you’ve given yourself an initial rinse, lather yourself up and clean everything as thoroughly as possible. Then, ensure that you rinse away all the soap suds.

It’s really important that after your shower, you need to dry your cock and balls – if you don’t dry your cock and balls properly, you could end up with bacterial growth, which is not something you want on your genitals. A blow-dryer on a low setting is an effective way to dry and also feels nice on your cock and balls.

When you’re wearing a cock-cage, you’re going to need to shower at least once a day.

How do I request using a chastity lock with a sex partner?

If you want to explore a chastity kink, you’re probably going to want to lean into the Dom/Sub dynamic and do it with a sexual partner.

Unlike having a man-in-suit fetish or being into role-play, BDSM play works best when you’ve got a high level of trust established between the Dom and the Sub. Random fuck-buddies aren’t ideal for this – if they’re going to be holding the key to your cock cage, you need to know how to find them.

If you’re relatively new to this aspect of kink, communication is really essential. You need to be able to effectively communicate what each of you wants to happen, what the turn-ons are, and what the boundaries are.

Maybe start by watching porn together that features a cock cage – see how you both respond to that. If it’s something that you’ve both got an interest in having some fun with, buy a cock cage and start to experiment. Get your partner to lock you up for an hour or so, maybe before you have sex. See how that feels.

If you’re both on the same page, this could be the kink that you’ve been searching for.