Talking about erectile dysfunction can be hard – pun intended. We’re conditioned by porn to expect our cocks to get hard when required – when that doesn’t happen, we feel like we haven’t met expectations, we feel embarrassed and awkward.
There’s a number of reasons why we may struggle to get hard – some physical, some psychological.
If you’re having challenges with your erections, a good starting point is to see your doctor and ensure that you’ve ruled out any underlying physical causes that might be contributing to your erectile dysfunction.
In this article, we’re going to explore some of the psychological barriers that you may be encountering if you’re struggling to get your rocks off.
Can erectile dysfunction be in your head?
Absolutely. Studies show that erectile dysfunction is often rooted in some psychological barriers that are getting in the way of the normal functioning of your body.
Common psychological barriers can include stress, anxiety, depression, or relationship issues.
Practice Makes Perfect: Find Some Solid Gay Sex Toys for Men
One of the psychological barriers that may be contributing to your erectile dysfunction is performance anxiety. It can be a bit hard to diagnose, but the more pressure that you put on yourself to get hard and be amazing in the sack, the more likely it is that your body will decide that it’s not going to play ball.
Sex toys can be a useful way to tackle performance anxiety. Pull out those dildoes or butt-plugs or whatever else you can get your hands on and build your confidence with some solo play.
Solo play with gay sex toys helps you to relax in sexual situations. Add some ass Kegels into the mix – get connected with your pleasure points. The more you can relax, be in the moment, and enjoy what’s happening, the easier it is for you to get out of your own way – your body knows what to do when it’s given the green light to have some fun.
Edging
Another technique to tackle erectile dysfunction is to practice the art of edging. When you edge during masturbation, you bring yourself to the brink of orgasm and then back off, keeping yourself on edge for as long as possible. This can help train your body to have more control over your orgasm.
Worrying about climaxing too early or not being able to climax at all can mess with your head and mess with your erection.
Regular edging practice helps you to be in tune with your body and builds your confidence that you know what you’re doing when it’s time to get naked and get hard.
Unlock Your Mind with Gay Audio Hypnosis
We’ve written previously about the phenomenon of gay mental hypnosis – it’s a technique that can also be helpful in tackling erectile dysfunction.
The science around hypnosis is still fairly unproven, but advocates contend that hypnosis can deliver top-quality gooning sessions – helping you to feel totally connected to your cock.
It’s another way of unlearning some of our behaviour patterns and expectations around sex. The more we can let down our barriers and be vulnerable, the better sexual connections we’ll be able to make.
Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone
Some people find themselves falling into comfortable sexual encounters where everything becomes a bit predictable and a little boring – that can result in challenges with erectile dysfunction.
Exploring your kinks, fetishes, and fantasies can be a really useful way to push your boundaries, step out of your comfort zone, and rediscover the thrill of a sexual encounter that really pushes your buttons.
Getting a bit kinky doesn’t have to mean dressing in a gimp mask or heading to Berlin for a weekend of debauchery, it could be as simple as finding some online buddies to swap fantasies with – putting your gay dating website inbox to work is a good starting point.
Threesomes
Gay threesomes or group sex can happen easily and with little strings attached at your local bathhouse – log onto Squirt.org and tap that “Cruise Now” section. The darkrooms, dimly lit saunas, steam rooms, and general anonymity may make it easy to find your spark and get out of your head.
Exhibitionism
Jacking off in public is one fetish many of our Squirt.org members love exploring, especially with other men at cruising hot spots. For example, park cruising or restroom cruising is one way to explore the risk of getting caught, which could be a turn-on you never realised you needed to jumpstart your cock and put it into overdrive. Check out some other hot public fucking spots you can try to rev your engine.
Seek Out Some Supplements
It’s a good idea to get a physical with your doctor before you start exploring supplements, but there are a range of options out there when you’re looking at things you can take to improve your fucking stamina.
Zinc is generally a good starting point – if you’re not getting enough Zinc in your diet, a supplement may help to boost your testosterone.
Ashwagandha is another supplement that is often suggested to help boost testosterone. Ashwagandha is an Indian herb that has been used for centuries to help the body deal with stress. It’s generally understood that stress is a boner-killer and bad for your testosterone levels.
Fenugreek is a herb that comes in multiple forms – you can get it in a capsule or as a team. Some herbalists suggest that Fenugreek can help to boost your libido.
Horny Goat Weed – as the name suggests – is also believed to help increase your libido and improve your sexual function. Horny Goat Weed is widely used by Chinese herbalists.
If you’re exploring herbal remedies, it’s always best to start with small dosages and find what works best for you – research has been conducted to try and verify the benefits of a range of herbal remedies for erectile dysfunction but so far the results are limited in how effective these supplements are.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
If you’re having trouble getting hard when you want to, it’s important to talk to someone – don’t just feel miserable that you’re not having the sex that you want to be having.
There’s lots of online resources, but your local doctor or health centre will be well-equipped to discuss the matter with you and will help ensure that you’re not dealing with any physical health issues that might be impacting your erections.
It’s also important to remember that not getting hard is not the end of the world. It happens to us all. Plus, there’s plenty of other ways you can have fun with another guy – a hard cock is only one of the tools in your sexual toolbox.
Exploring fantasies is all well and good, but don’t trick your partner into attending a sex party by not telling him up front that it’s a sex party. And if your fantasy is to watch your partner get fucked by another guy you might want to make sure he’s into that first. Trust is such a delicate thing; once you violate it there’s no going back.