Squirt.org member phil9325, our certified travelling slut, is constantly visiting new gay and kinky events around the world. So far, he has shown us what to do in Berlin and the craziness of Darklands in Belgium. However, Belin is not over. Now, it is time for him to take us on a night to one of the kinkiest bars in Europe, Lab.oratory!
Wilkommen, and hello again to all my fellow slutty travellers. As you may recall, we went on an adventure around Berlin last time, but I left you with a little cliffhanger about the most famous gay club in Berlin, Lab.oratory.
Gather your leather, prepare your hole, and grab some lube so we can get into the kinkiest place in Europe.
What is the Berghain or Panorama Bar?
Before we dive into the crazy stories of this place, go back and check what to do in Berlin and where to stay in Part I.
Before jumping right into Lab.oratory (most people call it Lab), we have to talk about the bar it shares the space with, the famous Berghain.
Berghain is a vast, four-story techno club in an old Berlin warehouse where phones are not allowed, and once you are inside, you stay for the whole weekend as the party doesn’t stop until Monday morning!
Since Berghain (and, for instance, Lab) is not a touristy area, you must prepare for a little train ride.
The club is located between Kreuzberg and Friedrichshain in Berlin. Luckily, trains in Berlin run 24/7, and you can drink from them. Stop for a “Wandernbeer” (a walking beer) and go to the station. From here, you do have a bit of a walk through a park, but trust me, it is super easy to find, and there are so many people going at the same time that you can tag along with the folks you see there.
You will see that the door is to the left (if you are coming from the park), but trust me, it is easy to notice as you will see the long line of people waiting to get in.
This club is famous for its bouncer, who will determine if you can go in or not. There is no way to predict the outcome of this outing. Yet, I would suggest you seem composed (aka don’t be a drunk or high mess); you seem chill, in black clothes with no logos, and it just seems like it wouldn’t bother you if you get in.
If you manage to get it, you can expect dark beats, hot people, and lots of sex. Yes, this is a club for everyone, but there is a floor where gays play (it is open to everyone, but it has become an unofficial gay floor).
Also, the top floor is famous for its ice cream bar, so grab one to freshen up after hours of dancing. Remember, once in, stay in because you don’t want to make that line again.
And what if I want to have sex and be surrounded by men only? Welcome to Lab!
If you are looking for pure sex, hot men, dungy vibes, and overall just a good, sexy time, then you have to take a little detour once you get to Berghain.
If you see the entrance to the main bar, you will notice that to the left, there is a metal door and a curve (if there isn’t already a line). Go through the gate, and you will see a tiny sign with the club’s name and rules.
Lab is a gay sex club ONLY for men presenting individuals. They have strict theme nights (similar to the bars in my previous entries, including Böse Buben), so check their website before you decide when to arrive. They are usually open Thursday through Sunday.
Another thing to check for is when they are open and what time they let people in. In contrast to Berghain, where you can get in or not at any time during the night or day, Lab only allows men for one to two hours. If you don’t arrive during those times, the doors will be closed, and you will have to return another day.
Another thing to note is that even if you arrive on time and they reach capacity by 30 minutes, you will also not be getting in that day.
One last thing to remember is that they only take cash for the bar (you can pay cover with a card), and there is no ATM on site. Come prepared with euros, and don’t overspend, as everything gets charged to your bracelet number.
What type of gay sex fun and gay hookups can you find at Lab in Berlin?
Now to the dirty details. I decided to attend their regular Thursday night event, Naked Night. For this event, the doors open between 9:00 PM and close at 11:00 PM, and people start lining up at least an hour before.
Luckily, I didn’t go at a busy time during the year, so I only waited 30 minutes before getting in.
Once inside, you are given a plastic bag and a bracelet to coat check and order drinks. Make sure to bring all you need out, as you must pay whenever you want to take or add anything to your bag.
Once you enter the club, take a minute to explore all of the areas. You will be on your knees swallowing loads in less time than you think!
The bar is a large dungeon and has everything you can imagine to play. Remember, do not bring your phone; if you do, keep it in your sock or bag. They have a very strict policy of no photos or videos, so follow it.
What can I expect when it comes to fetishes and sex at Lab.oratory in Berlin?
From gay glory holes to sling rooms and cages to a grated floor where you can practice watersports (as a giver on top of this grate or as the receiver at the bottom floor), there is something for everyone to get dirty and frisky at this place.
Once I walked around and made myself familiar, it took no time to make friends and start playing. I began by going on a sling and taking a few loads from very sexy guys, but I knew I couldn’t do this for the whole night, so I ventured into the second floor, where you can find fuck benches and cages.
Here, I lay down on a bench, and a daddy acted as the “doorman,” letting people into the cage to breed me and making them take turns in my hole.
A few hours later, I went back downstairs and checked the middle section, where there were a lot of beds and benches. It looked like a meat market where every bottom with their asses up and tops prancing around looking for which hole to fuck.
I spent a bit of time here taking loads. It didn’t take long from here for some hot fists to notice my ass’ abilities, so I was invited into one of the “sling rooms” (there are no doors anywhere, so don’t expect privacy if that is your thing).
Here, I took a few fists while others walked by to take a look at the show. Since this was a “normal” night for Lab, do not expect to engage in much gay kink play, as most guys go to be naked and have sex.
After 4-5 hours, and a wholly worked asshole later, I decided it was time to call it quits, and since no new people could get in after the doors closed, the crowd started to get smaller.
Also, and as I had mentioned before, Berlin is known for allowing smoking inside, so by a few hours, all you can see are pecs and cock. At times, I would get on my knees to suck someone hoping they were cute.
Before you leave, make sure you go back to the bar with your bracelet and pay your bill. Most drinks cost €10 so you can calculate how much you may need to bring. Before I left, I got lucky and was able to get a little fucking video in a back corner so I can show you that I was there getting used.
Now, if you are looking for pure kink play, Lab hosts rubber, fisting, watersports, sneakers, and formal/office sluts among others.
Please make sure you check what event you are attending, as some have a strict dress code (or none at all). Once you are in, stay in as long as possible because the doors will stay open until the last man stands.
What if I want to experience both club Berghain and Lab.oratory?
If you would like to experience going to Berghain and actually getting in while enjoying the craziness and friskiness of Lab, there is one option for you.
Twice a year, Berghain and Lab connect from the inside, and they let everyone in for a weekend of lust and sex. This famous party is Snax and usually occurs during Easter Berlin and a few weeks before or after Berlin Folsom.
I have not had the chance to attend this event yet but rest assured it is on my bucket list of slutty things to try. I will report back!
So, should I add Lab as a stop in Berlin?
Regardless if you are into some specific kink or you want to be in a very open and non-judgmental environment, Lab is a must for gay clubbing in Europe.
This is one of the top places I have ever been to, and I would 10000% do it all over again. Since it is a very famous place, you will also meet lots of visitors who are experiencing the same things as you, so you won’t feel left out as a “newbie” at the bar.
For now, I will continue bending over, taking loads and keeping all of this knowledge to share with you.
From a sex club and kink festival near you,
Phil XO
X/Twitter: @philcuchampxxx1
